Afotusɛm ntiantia
- Buy one slow breath before you respond.
- Set the room's temperature, don't just read it.
- Own a slip, then come back.
Dwen kɔ bere a na biribiara reyɛ bɔne wɔ adwumam no so. Mmere a wɔahyɛ a ɛrebɔ, nneɛma a ɛrebɛfiri ase a ɛresɛe, ɔdetɔni a ne bo afu, dodoɔ bi a ɛbaa fam koraa sen baabi a anka ɛsɛ sɛ ɛduru. Afei fa onipa a obiara hwɛɛ ne so ntɛm ara no yɛ wo adwene mu mfonin. Ɛyɛ nokorɛ sɛ na ɛnyɛ onipa a ne nne yɛ den sen biara wɔ dan no mu, anaa deɛ ɔwɔ dibea a ɛkorɔn paa. Ɛyɛ deɛ ɔgyinaa pintinn, deɛ ɔbrɛɛ ne nne ase wɔ baabi a anka ɔbɛma so, deɛ ɔbisaa asɛm a emu da hɔ wɔ baabi a anka ɔde mfomsoɔ to obi so, deɛ ɔmaa dan no mu nkaeɛfoɔ home kakra denam ne abodwoɔ nko ara so.
Saa apintinn no nyɛ suban bi a wɔwo wo a wɔwo wo bi anaasɛ wɔnwoo wo bi. Ɛyɛ nimdeɛ, na wobɛtumi asua. Afei nso ɛyɛ nimdeɛ no mu baako a ɛwɔ mfasoɔ kɛse wɔ adwuma biara mu, ɛsiane nokorɛ komm bi a ɛfa nnipa akuo ho nti: nkatedeɛ trɛw.
Abodwoɔ trɛw, na ehu nso saa ara
Nhwehwɛmufoɔ wɔ din a wɔde ama yei. Wɔfrɛ no nkatedeɛ a ɛsɛ ɔyareɛ a ɛsane (emotional contagion), na adanseɛ a ɛwɔ ho yɛ den. Yɛsɔ yɛn ho yɛn ho nkatedeɛ sɛdeɛ yɛsɔ ahomka, na mpɛn pii yɛnhunu. Wharton nhwehwɛmuni Sigal Barsade yɛɛ nhwehwɛmu bi a seesei ayɛ kanea a, na ɔyɛfoɔ baako a wɔatete no kɔkaa adwumayɛ akuo nketewa ho na ɔde komm yɛɛ nkatedeɛ ahodoɔ kyerɛɛ. Ɔyɛfoɔ no nkatedeɛ trɛwee daa na ɛsesaa kuo no nyinaa nkatedeɛ, na, ne saa, sɛdeɛ kuo no boom yɛɛ adwuma na wɔyɛɛ adwuma yie no.
Nsɛm mmienu a ɛfiri saa nhwehwɛmu yi mu na ɛho hia paa ma obiara a ɔkyerɛ kwan. Deɛ ɛdi kan ne sɛ nnipa de adwene kɛse to obiara a wɔhunu sɛ ɔyɛ ɔkannifoɔ no nkatedeɛ so, na ɛkyerɛ sɛ wo tebea kɔ akyirikyiri na ntɛm sen sɛdeɛ wodwen. Deɛ ɛtɔ so mmienu no ma yɛnsane yɛn adwene: nkatedeɛ bɔne taa trɛw sen deɛ ɛyɛ. Dadwene trɛw ntɛm sen ahotɔ.
Fa saa nneɛma mmienu no bɔ mu na deɛ ɛyɛ den no ada adi pefee. Sɛ wode wo ankasa ehu wura dan a emu yɛ den mu a, ɛnyɛ sɛ wote nka nko, wode ma obiara, na ɛdɔɔso. Sɛ wode apintinn wura mu a, woma wɔn biribi a wɔbɛtumi afɛm.
Deɛ enti a abodwoɔ ma wo ho yɛ nyansafoɔ, ɛnyɛ ayamyɛ nko
Mfasoɔ a ɛtɔ so mmienu wɔ hɔ, na ɛfa wo gyinaeɛ a wosi mu papayɛ ho.
Sɛ adwennwene hyɛ wo ma a, wo amene fa a wɔayɛ ama ahohia ho mmuaeɛ ntɛm no fa tumi, na fa a wɔayɛ ama adwene a wɔdwen ho yie no yɛ komm. Adwene ho abenfoɔ frɛ deɛ ɛkɔ akyirikyiri no amygdala awia (amygdala hijack), bere a kɔkɔbɔ no kata atemmuo so na woyɛ biribi a anka worennyi wɔ tiri a emu da hɔ. Yɛn nyinaa ato saa email no pɛn. Abodwoɔ nyɛ tebea a ɛyɛ anika kɛkɛ a wode wo ho hyɛ mu. Ɛyɛ tebea a wo nyansa ankasa wɔ hɔ ma wo.
Ɔkannifoɔ a ɔtumi gyina pintinn wɔ nhyɛsoɔ ase no kɔ so nya kwan kɔ n'adwene papa mu bere a ɛho hia paa, na, denam apintinn a ɔde ma nnipa a wɔatwa ne ho ahyia so, ɔma kuo no nyinaa adwene nso kɔ so yɛ adwuma. Yei ne ɔkannifoɔ a ɔdwo no mfasoɔ wɔ kasamu baako mu: abotɔyam bɔ atemmuo ho ban, wo deɛ ne obiara deɛ.
Yei nfa dibea ho
Ɛyɛ mmerɛ sɛ wobɛkenkan yei nyinaa sɛ afotuo a ɛma sohwɛfoɔ. Ɛnte saa. Akwankyerɛ, wɔ ɔkwan a ɛho hia wɔ ha so no, yɛ ɔbra ansa na ayɛ dibea. Onipa a ɔgyina pintinn bere a adwuma bi kɔ baabi a ɛnsɛ no rekyerɛ kwan, sɛ obi bu ne ho akonta anaa obu ɔnnu ho akonta. Nnipa hunu deɛ wɔbɛtumi de wɔn ho ato ne so bere a nneɛma yɛ den, na saa nhunu no ne sɛdeɛ wɔkyekyere ahotosoɔ ne nkɛntɛnso, mpɛn pii ansa na ahyehyɛdeɛ no abɛto wɔ so.
Sɛ woayɛ deɛ ɔgyina pintinn wɔ kuo nkrasɛm mu pɛn wɔ ahokyere bere mu, anaa adwumayɛni a afoforɔ de komm ba ne nkyɛn bere a wɔredi akɔneaba a, ɛnneɛ wonim yei dada. Na worekyerɛ kwan. Adwuma no seesei ne sɛ wobɛyɛ no boapa.
Sɛdeɛ wobɛkyekye
Wɔkyekyere abodwoɔ a ɛwɔ nhyɛsoɔ ase wɔ mmere a ɛyɛ daa mu, ɛnyɛ wɔfrɛ no wɔ mmere akɛseɛ mu. Nneɛma kakra a ɛboa ankasa:
- Hunu wo ankasa nneɛma a ɛhwanyan wo. Hwɛ tebea ahodoɔ pɔtee a ɛma wo bo fu, onipa pɔtee bi, sɛ wɔtwa wo asɛm mu, baguam animka, mfomsoɔ bi a ɛte sɛ ɛno. Worentumi nni deɛ wonhunu sɛ ɛreba ho dwuma. Sɛ woto wo nneyɛe ahodoɔ din no ne mfitiaseɛ a wode bɛdi wɔn anim.
- Tɔ bere kakra. Mpɛn pii agorɔ no nyinaa baa āwaha a ɛda nka a wote na deɛ wode di ho dwuma ntam. Yɛ su a wode home brɛoo prɛko, anaa kasamu baako a ɛkyere, "Ma menwene ho kakra", ansa na woama mmuaeɛ. Ɛkame ayɛ sɛ biribiara nni adwuma mu a ɛhwehwɛ mmuaeɛ a ɛyɛ ntɛm ntɛm ankasa.
- Di wo onipadua so kan. Worentumi mfa wo nsusuiɛ nkɔ abodwoɔ mu bere a wo onipadua wɔ kɔkɔbɔ mu. Home a ɛware na ɛyɛ brɛoo a wode firi mu, nan a ɛtim fam, mmati a wode abrɛ ase, yeinom nyɛ nneɛma a ɛyɛ mmerɛ a wɔde ka ho. Ɛyɛ sɛdeɛ wonya w'atemmuo bio.
- Fa gyidie kyerɛ kwan, ɛnyɛ nkatedeɛ. Si gyinae kan sɛdeɛ wopɛ sɛ woba, adwumayɛni ne ɔkannifoɔ ko a wopɛ sɛ woyɛ, sɛdeɛ ɛbɛyɛ a wɔ bere a ɛyɛ den no wobɛnya biribi a ɛtim sen deɛ wote nka.
- Fa nsanee kyerɛ, ɛnyɛ pɛyɛ. Ebia ɛtɔ da bi a wo abotɔyam bɛfiri wo nsam. Obiara yɛ saa. Deɛ nnipa kae ne sɛ wofaa ho asɛyɛdeɛ na wosanee baeɛ anaa. Ɔkannifoɔ a ɔka sɛ "Me ne wo kasaa ɔkwan a ɛnyɛ kan no, na ɛyɛ me asodie" no kyerɛ kuo mu nnipa nyinaa sɛ wɔtumi tena mfomsoɔ ase. Ɛno nso trɛw.
Ɔkwan tenten no
Yei ne fa a ɛma yei fata mmɔdenbɔ a ɛboro kuabɛnsa biara so. Akannifoɔ a nnipa di wɔn akyi mfeɛ pii, wɔn a wɔn akuo yɛ wɔn nkwanna adwuma a ɛyɛ pa ara na wɔtena hɔ no, ɛkame ayɛ sɛ ɛnyɛ wɔn a wɔtuu mmirika wɔ ɔhyew kɛse mu da. Wɔyɛ wɔn a na wɔyɛ teberɛ a ɛwɔ banbɔ na ɛgyina pintinn a wɔbɛtena ho. Saa apintinn no yɛ ma nea ɛfiri mu ba, na ɛyɛ ma wo nso: adwumayɛ a wɔkyekyeree no wɔ apintinn so tumi tena hɔ kyɛ sen deɛ wɔkyekyeree wɔ mmirikatu a wode adrenaline yɛ adwuma kɔsi sɛ wobɛyera so.
Abodwoɔ nyɛ nhyɛsoɔ a ɛnni hɔ. Ɛyɛ deɛ wobɛtumi de ama nnipa a wɔatwa wo ho ahyia bere a nhyɛsoɔ no korɔn paa. Kyekye no seesei, wɔ mmere nketewa mu, na ɛbɛwɔ hɔ bere a ɛho hia, ama wɔn, ne wo.
Nsɛm a wɔnyaeɛ firii
- Sigal Barsade, The Ripple Effect: Emotional Contagion and Its Influence on Group Behavior (Administrative Science Quarterly)
- Wharton Executive Education, Emotional Contagion: Why It Matters for Leaders
- Knowledge at Wharton, Leadership Influence: Controlling Emotional Contagion