Di Anim wɔ Ahohia Mu

Fon no bɔ wɔ berɛ a ɛnsɛ. Aguadie bi sɛe, mfiri bi gu, akontabuo no san ba a ɛnteɛ, obi pira. Ɛkwan biara a ɛfa so ba no, wotumi te nka sɛ dan no mu nnipa dane hwɛ wo, retwɛn. Ebia wowɔ dibea a ɛma asɛyɛdeɛ da wo so. Ebia woyɛ onipa a ɔbɛn ɔhaw no koraa nko ara. Ɛkwan biara so no, nnɔnhwerew kakra a ɛdi hɔ no bɛgyina, ɔfa kɛseɛ so, sɛnea wobɛhwɛ wo ho so.

Ɛno yɛ adeɛ a emu yɛ duru sɛ wobɛkenkan ɛberɛ a wʼankasa wo yam atu. Enti momma yɛnni nokorɛ mfa tebea no ho kane. Wusuro, anaa ɛyɛ den kakra, na sɛ woyɛ wo ho sɛ ɛnte saa a, ɛbɛgye wʼahoɔden pii sen sɛ ɛbɛkora bi. Botaeɛ a ɛwɔ ha no nyɛ sɛ wonte hwee. Ɛyɛ sɛ wobɛkɔ so ayɛ adwuma ɛberɛ a wote nka no, na woayɛ onipa a nnipa a wɔatwa wo ho ahyia no tumi de wɔn ho to wo so.

Nhwehwɛmu ankasa wɔ hɔ a ɛfa deɛ ɛgye ho. Emu nna hɔ sen sɛnea ɛte.

Kane no, fa wʼankasa amoa san bra

Sɛ nhyɛsoɔ a ano yɛ den to wo a, wo nipadua yɛ biribi a ɛboa sɛ wobɛdwane afiri aboa a ɔpɛ sɛ ɔkyere wo nsam, nanso ɛmmoa wɔ nhyiamu a wode di anim mu. Wʼamoa fa a ɛhunu asiane, amygdala no, tu ntɛm na ɛyɛ dede, na ɛyɛ saa ansa na fa a ɛyɛ nyaa, a ɛdwene adeɛ yie, prefrontal cortex no, aduru. Nhyɛsoɔ ho ahonhwie hyɛ ma. Wʼadwene si pi. Adwene a wohia no kɛseɛ, sɛ wobɛkari akwan ahodoɔ, akenkan nnipa, apaw nsɛm, no yɛ den sɛ wobɛnya no berɛ a asɛm no mu yɛ duru koraa.

Enti anammɔntuo a ɛdi kan wɔ ahohia biara mu no nyɛ nhyehyɛeɛ. Ɛyɛ honam fam adeɛ. Ɛsɛ sɛ wobrɛ wʼankasa nhyehyɛeɛ ase kakra ansa na woatumi adi obiara foforɔ deɛ anim.

Adwinnadeɛ a ɛnyɛ den bi wɔ hɔ ma yei a adanseɛ pa a ɛyɛ nwanwa gyina akyi. Bɔ deɛ wote nka no din. UCLA amoa mfoni ho nhwehwɛmu a Matthew Lieberman dii anim hunuiɛ sɛ, adeɛ pɛ a ɛyɛ sɛ wode atenka bɛhyɛ nsɛm mu, sɛ wobɛbɔ anim din sɛ "abufuo" anaa "ehu," no brɛɛ dwumadie a ɛwɔ amygdala no mu ase kɛseɛ ɛberɛ a ɛde amoa fa a ɛdwene adeɛ no baa adwuma mu. Lieberman de totoo brɛke a wode wo nan mia so ho. Ɛho nhia sɛ woka kyerɛ dan no mu nnipa. Sɛ woka komm kyerɛ wo ho sɛ, "yoo, mesuro na mʼakoma rebɔ denden," a, ɛfiri aseɛ de ɔhwɛ no ma wo bio.

Fa ahomeguo baako a woyɛ no brɛoo ka ho. Nan gu fam. Afei tu anammɔn a ɛdi hɔ no sen sɛ wobɛtu ne nyinaa prɛko pɛ.

Deɛ nnipa hia firi wo hɔ ankasa

Sɛ wotumi dwene adeɛ a, sɔhwɛ a ɛba ne sɛ wobɛyɛ wo ho sɛ biribiara mu da hɔ ma wo. Nyɛ saa. Nhwehwɛmu a ɛfa akannie wɔ mmerɛ a emu yɛ den mu no kyerɛ ɔkwan foforɔ, nokorɛdie fam.

Nhwehwɛmu bi a ɛfa akannie wɔ ɔyaredɔm no ahyɛaseɛ mu, a Beilstein ne ne mfɛfoɔ tintimeɛ wɔ ayaresa nsɛm nwoma bi mu, yii nkitahodie nnyinasoɔ kakra a ɛgyinaa nhyɛsoɔ ankasa ase. Di nkitaho mpɛn pii sen sɛnea wote nka sɛ ɛho hia. Ma emu nna hɔ, nsonsonoeɛ a ɛda deɛ wonim ne deɛ woredwene ho susu ntam. Ti asɛm titire no mu, ɛfiri sɛ nnipa a wɔhyɛ nhyɛsoɔ ase no nnye nsɛm ntom prɛko pɛ. Ma ɛnyɛ mmerɛ mma nnipa sɛ wɔbɛka deɛ ɛrekɔ so ankasa akyerɛ wo, a asɛmmɔne no ka ho.

Deɛ ɛtwa toɔ no ho hia sen sɛnea ɛteɛ. Wɔ ahohia mu no, nsɛm yɛ mframa a yɛhome, na wobɛnya nokorɛ no ara berɛ a nnipa nnsuro sɛ wɔde bɛma wo.

Din bi wɔ tebea a ɛma yei tumi ba no. Amy Edmondson, a ɔsua akuo ho adeɛ wɔ Harvard Business School, frɛ no adwene mu banbɔ: adwene a nnipa nyinaa kura sɛ wɔrentwe waso anaa wɔremmrɛ wo ase sɛ wokasa de asɛmmisa, dadwene, anaa mfomsoɔ bi ba. Edmondson adwuma foforɔ no si so dua pefee sɛ, sɛ nneɛma yɛ den na sika so te a, akannifoɔ taa fa adwene mu banbɔ sɛ adehodeɛ a wɔbɛtwa agu. Ɔka sɛ ɛyɛ nea ɛne no bɔ abira. Sɛnea berɛ no yɛ den no, saa ara na wohia nnipa a wɔbɛpɛ sɛ wɔka sɛ "yei nyɛ adwuma" ansa na aka akyɛ dodo sɛ wobɛyɛ ho biribi.

Sɛ wode yɛ adwuma a, wɔ ahohia mu no, ɛte sɛ nneɛma nketewa kakra a wopaw a wɔti mu wɔ nhyɛsoɔ ase.

• Bisa nsɛm sen sɛ woka biribi pintinn. "Ɛdeɛn na mʼani abɔ so?" ma wo nsɛm a ɛyɛ sen "deɛ yɛreyɛ nie."
• Kyerɛkyerɛ onipa a ɔde asɛmmɔne no bɛma wo no ase, pefee, sɛ asɛm no yɛ hu mpo. Woredaadaa obiara a ɔrehwɛ no wɔ deɛ ɛwɔ banbɔ sɛ wɔbɛka ho.
• Yi ɔhaw no firi afɔdie mu. Berɛ wɔ hɔ ma asɛyɛdeɛ akyire yi. Seesei deɛ, wohia nokwasɛm no, na ehu de nokwasɛm sie.

Si gyinaeɛ, na kɔ so si gyinaeɛ

Ahohia twe aso wɔ mfomsoɔ mmienu a ɛbɔ abira ho. Baako ne sɛ wobɛgyina dinn, retwɛn awerɛhyɛmu a ɛremma. Deɛ ɛka ho ne sɛ wobɛsɔ wo nhyehyɛeɛ a ɛdi kan no mu denden na woampɛ sɛ woma wʼani so.

Ɔyaredɔm-akannie nhwehwɛmu no kyerɛɛ ɔkwan a ɛyɛ no sɛ nkyimu a ɛkɔ so sen gyinaeɛ kɛseɛ baako. Wohwɛ deɛ ɛbɛtumi asi akyire yi kwan, wode nsɛm a wowɔ si gyinaeɛ a ɛyɛ sen biara a wobɛtumi, woka deɛ woapaw ne deɛ enti pefee kyerɛ nnipa, na afei wobrɛ wo ho ase araa sɛ wobɛsakra no ɛberɛ a mfoni no resakra. Ahohia mu gyinaeɛ pa ntaa nyɛ pɛ. Ɛba berɛ pa mu, wɔkyerɛ mu, na wɔtumi sesa.

Nneɛma kakra ma yei yɛ mmerɛ wɔ saa berɛ no mu:

1. Bɔ gyinaeɛ ankasa a ɛsɛ sɛ wosi no seesei ara no din, na yi no firi edu a ɛbɛtumi atwɛn dɔnhwere baako no mu.
2. Hyɛ berɛ a wobɛsi gyinaeɛ, sɛ ɛnyɛ pɛpɛɛpɛ mpo. "Yɛbɛpaw ansa na owigyinaeɛ aduru" sen sɛ wobɛtwɛn awerɛhyɛmu a ɛremma da.
3. Ka no pefee deɛ ɛbɛma woasesa ɔkwan. Ɛgyaa wo ma wode wo ho hyɛ mu seesei a wonyɛ wo ho sɛ wonnyɛ mfomsoɔ da.
4. Ka deɛ enti kyerɛ nnipa, na ɛnyɛ deɛ ɛyɛ no nko ara. Gyinaeɛ a nnipa te aseɛ no yɛ deɛ wɔbɛtumi adi so ɛberɛ a wonni dan no mu.

Hunu sɛ yeinom mu biara nhia sɛ wonya mmuaeɛ no. Ɛhia sɛ woma kuo no kɔ so tu na wɔbom dwene.

Wo na wode su kyerɛ

Ɛha yɛ deɛ ɛyɛ mmerɛ sɛ wo werɛ firi ɛberɛ a woamem nsɛm nketenkete no ase. Nnipa a wɔatwa wo ho ahyia no kenkan wo berɛ biara, na wo tebea retrɛtrɛ mu, sɛ wopɛ anaa woampɛ. Ahotɔ trɛtrɛ. Saa ara na ahopopoɔ nso, na ahopopoɔ trɛ ntɛm.

Yei nyɛ akyinnyeɛ sɛ fa animdua a ɛyɛ nwunu kata wʼanim. Nnipa tumi hunu ɛberɛ a ɔkannifoɔ reyɛ ne ho sɛ ne ho adwo no, na wɔhunu no sɛ nnaadaa anaa nea ɔmpene so. Deɛ ɛma kuo gyina pintinn ne biribi a ɛkyɛ: ɔkannifoɔ a ɛda adi sɛ asɛm no aka no nanso ɔda so yɛ adwuma. Obi a ɔbɛtumi aka sɛ "yei yɛ den, na deɛ yɛreyɛ ho nie" wɔ ahome korɔ mu. Ɛno ma nnipa kwan ma wɔte ehu no na wɔyɛ biribi ara kwa, a ɛno nko ara ne akokoɔduro a ɛwɔ hɔ ankasa.

Worenyɛ yeinom nyinaa pɛpɛɛpɛ. Obiara nyɛ. Wo bo bɛfu obi, anaa wobɛsi gyinaeɛ a anka wopɛ sɛ wosan, anaa wobɛyɛ komm ɛberɛ a anka ɛsɛ sɛ wokasa. Deɛ nnipa kae firi ahohia mu no ntaa nyɛ sɛ wɔn kannifoɔ anni mfomsoɔ. Ɛyɛ sɛ ɔkannifoɔ no dii nokorɛ, ɔwɔ hɔ, na ɔpɛɛ sɛ ɔgye ne mfomsoɔ to mu. "Meyɛɛ ɛno mfomsoɔ, na nsiesie no nie" yɛ nsɛm a ɛma obi tɔ ne bo ase kɛseɛ a obi a ɔhyɛ nhyɛsoɔ ase bɛtumi ate.

Berɛ a wobɛhwehwɛ mmoa foforɔ

Sɛ wodi anim wɔ ahohia baako mu a, ɛbrɛ obi. Sɛ wodi anim wɔ baako a ɛware mu, anaa pii a ɛtoatoa so mu a, ɛtumi kokoa mu ma wʼahoɔden sa wɔ akwan a ɛnna adi kɔsi akyire yi. Sɛ wonna, sɛ ehu adane wo tebea a ɛtaa hɔ, sɛ wo bo refu wɔn a wodɔ wɔn anaa wote nka sɛ hwee nni wo mu mpo wɔ prɛko mmerɛ no akyi a, ɛfata sɛ wode di dwuma. Ka kyerɛ wo dɔkota anaa adwenemuhwɛfoɔ. Fa wo ho to adamfo a wode wo ho to no so anaa wʼafɛfoɔ a wasoa biribi a ɛte saa so. Sɛ wosoa adesoa ma afoforɔ a, ɛyɛ adwuma ankasa, na wowɔ kwan sɛ wobɛhia mmoa na woakɔ so ayɛ.

Na sɛ berɛ biara nneɛma yɛ sɛ ɛboro deɛ wobɛtumi asoa so a, sɛ wobɛfrɛ mmoa no yɛ adeyɛ a ɛyɛ den, na ɛnyɛ deɛ ɛyɛ mmerɛ. Ahotɔ a wode ma obiara no yɛ biribi a ɛfata wo nso sɛ wonya bi.

Nea efi

• Harvard Business School Working Knowledge, In Tough Times, Psychological Safety Is an Asset, Not a Luxury (research by Amy C. Edmondson)
• Beilstein et al., Leadership in a time of crisis: Lessons learned from a pandemic (Best Practice & Research Clinical Anaesthesiology, via PubMed Central)
• UCLA Health, Putting Feelings Into Words Produces Therapeutic Effects in the Brain
• Lieberman et al., Putting Feelings Into Words: Affect Labeling Disrupts Amygdala Activity in Response to Affective Stimuli (Psychological Science)