Skip to main content
Woahyɛ ahohia mu anaa woredwene sɛ wobɛpira wo ho? Ɛnyɛ wo nko ara. Hwehwɛ mmoa ahomaa →

AKANNIDIE · NIPABRA FA

Sɛnea Wobɛda Wo Ho Adi Ama Nnipa Wɔ Mmere A ɛyɛ Den Mu

Sɛ obi a ɔwɔ wo kuo mu redi awerɛhoɔ, ɛyɛ no hu, anaa ɔrehwe ase komm a, wonhia nsɛm a ɛyɛ pɛ. Deɛ wuhia ne sɛ wobɛyɛ onipa a ɔgyina pintinn na ɔsan ba daa. Ɛha yɛkyerɛ sɛnea wobɛyɛ saa a woremma ɛnyɛ den kɛse.

Time lapse photography of green field and clouds

Photo by Frantzou Fleurine on Unsplash

Afotusɛm ntiantia

  • Offer a specific thing, not anything.
  • Check back weeks after everyone forgets.
  • Just sit with them, don't fix it.

Obi a wo ne no yɛ adwuma rehunu amane. Ɔwofoɔ a ɔda owuyare bea. Awareɛ a ɛrebubu. Mu nhwehwɛ a wɔretwɛn. Abofra a ne ho nyɛ no den. Ebia wɔka kyerɛɛ wo, anaa ebia wohunuu kanea no a ɛredum wɔ wɔn ani akyi wɔ nhyiamu ase kɛkɛ. Na seesei woasi baabi a yɛn mu dodoɔ no ara si hɔ: wopɛ sɛ woboa, na wusuro sɛ deɛ wobɛka biara bɛyɛ deɛ ɛnteɛ.

Enti nnipa pii nka hwee. Wɔka kyerɛ wɔn ho sɛ wɔrebu kokoamsɛm, wɔrema onipa no kwan. Emu bi yɛ ankasa. Emu dodoɔ no ara yɛ suro. Yɛyɛ komm ɛfiri sɛ bere no te sɛ deɛ ɛyɛ mmerɛ na yɛmpɛ sɛ yɛyɛ deɛ ɔbɛyɛ no basaa.

Asɛm a ɛyɛ ahofadie ni. Anohyeto no ba fam sen sɛnea wodwene. Nnipa a wɔwɔ ɔyaw mu no nkae sɛ wokaa kasamu a ɛteɛ no da koraa. Wɔkae sɛ wobaeɛ koraa anaa, ne sɛ wosan baeɛ anaa.

Adeɛ a wusuro ankasa no

Sɛ woyiyi suro no mu a, ɛtaa ba gyidie baako so: sɛ kasa a ɛteɛ bi wɔ hɔ, na sɛ wonni bi a, wobɛpira wɔn. Wo de wo ho yɛ mfoni sɛ woka biribi a ɛyɛ basaa na woma obi a ɔredi awerɛhoɔ te nka bɔne kɛse.

Saa suro no asi anan butuw. Asɛm a ɛyɛ basaa na ɛfiri akoma mu sɛ "Mennim deɛ menka, nanso me werɛ aho paa, na meredwene wo ho" ba fam yie kyɛn kommyɛ a wasiesie. Deɛ ɛpira nnipa wɔ mmere a ɛyɛ den mu nyɛ kasa a ɛnyɛ pɛ. ɛyɛ sɛ wɔde hwee nhyia wɔn, da biara da, ɛdenam adwumayɛfoɔ a ɛda adi sɛ wɔnim na ɛda adi sɛ wɔdane wɔn ani.

Bere a Sabina Nawaz a ɔyɛ adwumayɛ ho ɔkyerɛkyerɛfoɔ rekyerɛw ma Harvard Business Review no, ɔtwaa ɛhye a mfasoɔ wɔ ho fa mmoa ahodoɔ mmienu ho: *adeyɛ* ne *atenaeɛ*. Adeyɛ yɛ aduane a wonoa de kɔ, adwuma kuo a wobɛ gye, ɔpɛ a wopɛ sɛ wode adetɔfoɔ frɛ no sɛnea ɔbɛtumi akɔ fie nnɔnhwere mmiɛnsa. Atenaeɛ yɛ sɛ wone obi tena ne ɔyaw mu komm a wompɛ sɛ wosiesie anaa woka ho kɔ ntɛm. Yɛn mu dodoɔ no ara kɔ adeyɛ fam ɛfiri sɛ ɛyɛ adeɛ a yɛhunu na ɛma yɛn nsa nya biribi yɛ. Nanso atenaeɛ yɛ akyɛdeɛ a emu yɛ den na ɛho yɛ na, na ɛtaa yɛ deɛ nnipa kɔm de wɔn.

Adɛn nti na atenaeɛ yɛ den saa? Ɛfiri sɛ ɛhwehwɛ sɛ wode wo ho tena adeɛ a ɛnyɛ dɛ mu a ɛkwan biara nni hɔ a wofa so fi. Sɛ obi su wɔ w'anim a, atenka biara fi aseɛ pɛnkoro: ma n'ani nnye, hwehwɛ adeɛ pa bi, sesa nkɔmmɔ no, fa krataa ma no ne nhyehyɛeɛ. Si eyi nyinaa kwan. Sɛ woma obi tena awerɛhoɔ mu wɔ wo nkyɛn, a wompia no mfiri atenka no mu no, kyerɛ no sɛ wɔama atenka no kwan. Saa kwan a wɔde ma no yɛ deɛ ɛho yɛ na sen afotuo na ɛsom bo kɛse. Ɛnsɛ sɛ woma ɛyɛ yie. ɛsɛ sɛ wonsuro nko ara.

Deɛ wobɛka, ne deɛ wobɛgyaw

Wonhia kasa a wɔahyehyɛ. Wuhia atenka kakra, ne nneɛma kakra a wobɛkwati.

Fa aseɛ a ɛyɛ mmerɛ na ɛyɛ ɔdɔ. "Metee wo papa ho asɛm. Me werɛ aho paa." ɛno dɔɔso. Woaka sɛ wonim, woaka sɛ w'ani gye ho, na woammisa biribiara amma akyi. Sɛ wopɛ sɛ wokɔ anim kakra a, sɔ "Mintumi nsusu sɛnea eyi te ma wo" hwɛ. ɛhyɛ animuonyam sɛ wɔn osuahunu yɛ wɔn deɛ, ɛnyɛ biribi a wo nso wofaa mu bi.

Afei ɛfa a nnipa yɛ no mfomso no. Si ɔpɛ a wopɛ sɛ wode toto ho kwan. Sɛ woka sɛ "Menim sɛnea wote pɛpɛɛpɛ, bere a me maame wuiɛ no..." a, woadane bere no akɔ wo ho komm, na seesei ɛsɛ sɛ onipa foforɔ no hwɛ w'awerɛhoɔ so ka ɔno deɛ no ho. Nawaz kyerɛ sɛ si nsɛmmisa nso kwan. Kwati "Wo ho te dɛn?" ne "Asɛm bɛn na ɛsiiɛ?" sɛ mfiaseɛ nsɛm. Saa nsɛmmisa no hyɛ obi ma ɔsi gyinaeɛ, prɛko pɛ, sɛnea ɔbɛyɛ ne ho adi akyerɛ wo, na ebia biribiara nni hɔ a wɔde bɛma bio. Fa w'ani gye no ma a womfa ka mfa ho.

Ebi bio a ɛboa:

  • Bɔ wɔn onipa no din, sɛ obi wuiɛ a. Nnipa taa nantew nyaa fa ho, deɛ ɛtumi ma owuo no yɛ deɛ wontumi nka. Sɛ wɔte "Mekɔ so dwene wo nuabaa ho" a, ɛkyerɛ wɔn sɛ ɛyɛ asomdwoeɛ sɛ wɔkasa, na ɛyɛ asomdwoeɛ sɛ wɔnkasa nso.
  • Sesa "Ma menhunu sɛ wuhia biribiara" ma biribi pɔtee. Saa ɔpɛ a ano nni hɔ no te sɛ ayamyɛ nanso komm ɛde adwuma ma wɔn: hwehwɛ deɛ wohia, hwehwɛ nsɛm, na bisa. Nnipa dodoɔ no ara renyɛ saa. "Mede anwummerɛ aduane reba Yawda, nnɔnsia yɛ a?" yɛ mmerɛ sɛ wɔgye sen sɛ wɔbɛpo.
  • Paw wo bere. Sɛ woyɛ no atuu wɔ ɛkwantia so bere a ɔrekɔ sika ho nhwehwɛmu mu a, ɛtumi sɛe no. Fa awerɛhoɔ ho nkyea ma kokoam, wɔ ahomegyeɛ bere, baabi a wɔnsiesie wɔn ho sɛ wɔbɛyɛ adeɛ.
  • Bere a wonnim deɛ wobɛka a, ka saa. "Minni kasa a ɛteɛ" yɛ nokware, na nokware kenkan sɛ ɔdɔ.

Deɛ enti a nkɔmmɔ baako nnɔɔso

Ɛha na nnipa a wɔwɔ adwene pa hwere ɛkwan. Wɔbɔ nkɔmmɔ pa, a emu yɛ den, baako wɔ mfiaseɛ, wɔte ahomegyeɛ a ɛfiri sɛ wɔayɛ, na afei komm wɔkɔ wɔn anim. Saa bere no aduane no gyae, krataa no gyae, ahwɛyɛ no gyae, na wɔgyaw onipa a ɔredi awerɛhoɔ no ankonam bere a duruyɛeyaw no resa na adesoa ankasa no resi.

Awerɛhoɔ ne ahokyere nntu mmirika wɔ adwuma kalenda so. Awerɛhoɔ akwantia a wɔde ma taa yɛ nna kakra pɛ. Basabasayɛ ankasa a ɛba obi adwene, ahoɔden, ne ahotosoɔ mu no kɔ akyiri abosome pii. Wiase hwɛ kwan sɛ wɔbɛsan "akɔ tebea pa mu" bere tenten ansa na wɔadu hɔ, na ɛhye a ɛda saa mmere mmienu yi ntam no yɛ baabi a ɛyɛ ankonam sen biara a obi tumi tena.

Enti adeɛ a tumi wɔ mu sen biara a wobɛtumi ayɛ no nso ne deɛ ɛyɛ mmerɛ sen biara: san ba daa. Hyɛ nkaeɛ ho mmara sɛ ɛho hia a. Nkrasɛm tiawa dapɛn pii akyi, "Meda so redwene wo ho, ɛho nhia sɛ wobua," tumi kyerɛ kɛse sen biribiara a wokaa wɔ dapɛn a edi kan no mu, ɛfiri sɛ ɛkame yɛ obiara werɛ amfi. Mfa wɔn nkɔanim ho asɛm nyɛ wɔn sɔhwɛ. "W'ani agye seesei anaa?" dane wɔn ayaresa ayɛ sɔhwɛ a wɔbɛtumi adi mu nkogu. "ɛyɛ me anigye sɛ mehunu wo" nkura saa afidie no.

Bere a wunnim wɔn yie

ɛnyɛ ahokyere biara na ɛto obi a ɔbɛn wo. Ɛtɔ da a ɛyɛ ɔyɔnko a ɔwɔ apono mmienu akyi, anaa kuo mu hokafoɔ a wo ne no nnidii da, na woka kyerɛ wo ho sɛ wonka hwee ɛfiri sɛ ampa ara eyi yɛ obi foforɔ asɛdeɛ sɛ ɔbɛboa. ɛsɛ sɛ obi a ɔbɛn no na ɔhwɛ.

Saa adwene no gyaw nnipa pii ankonam. Nokware ne sɛ awerɛhoɔ ne suro tew onipa wiase mu so ntɛm, na nnamfoɔ a na wɔsusu sɛ wɔbɛba no ntaa mma, sɛ ɛyɛ ɛfiri suro korɔ no ara a wo nso wote no nti, anaa ɛfiri sɛ wonnim. Krataasɛm tiawa a nhyɛsoɔ nni mu a ɛfiri obi a ɔwɔ wɔn asetena ano no tumi ba mu wɔ ahoɔden a ɛyɛ nwanwa. "Metee, na mepɛ sɛ meka sɛ me werɛ aho. Mewɔ hɔ sɛ da bi wopɛ ɔdamfo wɔ awiaduane bere a." Wonnka sɛ wo ne wɔn bɛn a ɛnte saa. Worebue ɛpono na woma wɔn na wɔsi gyinaeɛ sɛ wɔbɛfa mu anaa. Nnipa dodoɔ no ara kae onipa ko a ɔde ne nsa kaa wɔn bere a na ɛnhia.

Kɔkɔbɔ baako: ma ɛnyɛ hare na ma wɔn nni anim. Sɛ ɛyɛ obi a wunnim no yie a, fa atenaeɛ ma, ɛnyɛ nhyɛsoɔ. Sɛ wɔma ɛyɛ tiawa anaa wɔmmua a, ɛyɛ. Wodaa wo ho adi. ɛno ne adwuma no nyinaa.

Bere a woyɛ panin no

Sɛ wode onipa no hwɛ a, w'ayamyɛ kura mu duru a ɔyɔnko deɛ nkura, na ɛno sesa nneɛma. Onipa a ɔwɔ w'ase no ntumi nhome ntena w'ayamyɛ mu koraa sɛ ɔda so resusu sɛ ne nokwasɛm bɛbɔ no ka akyiri yi anaa. Wɔrebu akontabuo mpo bere a wopɛ sɛ wɔnnyɛ saa: dodoɔ ahe na metumi ada eyi adi akyerɛ onipa yi ansa na adi m'akyi akɔ me nhwehwɛmu a ɛdi hɔ mu? Enti ɛsɛ sɛ biribi ankasa gyina mmoa no akyi, anaa ɛbɛ kenkan sɛ afidie.

American Psychological Association Work in America nhwehwɛmu a aba nnansa yi hunuu sɛ adwumayɛfoɔ a wɔtee nka sɛ wɔgyina wɔn akyi ankasa, a na wɔne wɔn panin wɔ abusuabɔ pa na wɔgye di sɛ wɔn ho hia adwumakuo no, kaa sɛ wɔn ahokyere sua koraa na wɔn adwene a ɛkyerɛ sɛ wɔn adwuma yɛ bɔne no nso sua koraa. Sɛ wote nka sɛ wo ho hia no nyɛ akyɛdeɛ a emu yɛ mmerɛ. ɛda adi wɔ sɛnea nnipa gyina pintinn wɔ nhyɛsoɔ ase.

Saa gyinaeɛ pintinn no na Harvard nhwehwɛmufoɔ Amy Edmondson frɛ no adwene mu banbɔ: gyidie a yɛkyekyɛ sɛ wobɛtumi akasa, agye atom sɛ woreyɛ ɔko, anaa woaka "Mintumi nnye eyi dapɛn yi" a wɔntwe w'aso wɔ ho. N'adwuma ahunu sɛ eyi ho hia kɛse pɛɛ bere a nneɛma yɛ den sen biara, bere a sika so kyere na ahokyere foro. Atenka a ɛba bere a nneɛma yɛ den no ne sɛ wɔhyɛ sɛ obiara mpia mu kɛkɛ. Akannifoɔ a wɔyɛ yie ne wɔn a wɔma ɛyɛ asomdwoeɛ sɛ wɔyɛ nnipa bere a wɔrepia mu.

Wɔ dwumadie mu, ma panin, ɛno te sɛ:

  • Te adesoa no so ansa na wɔabisa. Yi biribi firi wɔn so, ma berɛ a wɔde wie adwuma no nkɔ akyiri, gye nhyiamu. Mma wɔnyɛ apɔmuden ho adwuma ansa na wɔanya ahomegyeɛ.
  • Ma mmara no nna hɔ. "W'adwuma bom. Gye bere a wuhia. Yɛbɛhwɛ adwuma no." Adwene mienu yɛ ahokyere ankasa, na wobɛtumi de kasamu baako ayi afiri hɔ.
  • Bɔ wɔn ho ban firi nnipa a wɔn adwene yɛ pa no ho. Ɛtɔ da a ayamyɛ a ɛyɛ pa sen biara ne sɛ wobɛgye nsɛmmisa no sɛnea wɔnnka wɔn asetena mu asɛm bɔne sen biara no mpɛn du.
  • Di deɛ wo hyɛɛ bɔ ho dwuma. Panin a ɔde ɔkwan tea ma na afei ɔhome wɔ berɛ ho no kyerɛkyerɛ kuo no sɛ na ɔpɛ no yɛ afidie. Yɛ ankasa, anaasɛ nka.

Wobɛyɛ eyi mu bi mfomso

Wobɛyɛ saa. Wobɛka totoho asɛm no. Wobɛyɛ komm bere a anka wopɛ sɛ wode wo nsa kɔ. Wo werɛ befiri sɛ wobɛsan ahwɛ. ɛno nyɛ nnyinasoɔ sɛ wobɛfiri adwumayɛ no nyinaa mu, ɛyɛ sɛnea onipa a ɔrebɔ mmɔden sɛ ɔbɛboa onipa foforɔ afa biribi a ɛyɛ den ankasa mu te kɛkɛ.

Sɛ wopa a, nsiesie ketewa kɔ akyiri. "Madwene ho sɛ meyɛɛ komm maa wo, na me werɛ aho. Mewɔ ha." Nnipa fa basaayɛ no kyɛ. Deɛ ɛka wɔn ho ne sɛ wosan baeɛ.

ɛboa sɛ woto adwene a ɛkyerɛ sɛ awieeɛ bi wɔ hɔ a woaboa obi yie na wobɛtumi agyae no twene. ɛnni hɔ. Nneɛma a ɛyɛ daa a wode yɛ ayamyɛ na ɛda hɔ tenten, dodoɔ no ara yɛ nketewa a ɛyɛ mmerɛ sɛ wo werɛ befiri. Asɛm pa a ɛwɔ mu ne sɛ nhyɛsoɔ no firi so. Ɛnsɛ sɛ woyɛ bere kɛseɛ baako yie. Wonya nketenkete ɔha, na ɛsɛ sɛ wofa kakra pɛ.

Asɛm a etwa toɔ ma wo ankasa. Sɛ woboa obi fa bere tenten a emu yɛ duru mu a, ɛtumi ha wo nso, titiriw sɛ ɛyɛ obi a wo ne no bɛn anaa sɛ nnipa pii rehunu amane prɛko pɛ a. Hunu saa. Twere wo ankasa nkurɔfoɔ. Na sɛ obi a w'ani ada ne ho so te sɛ deɛ ɔremem akɔ baabi a ahwɛyɛ ne abodwokyɛre rentumi nnu, anidasoɔ asa, ɔnna, ɔrekyerɛkyerɛ sɛ ɔmpɛ sɛ ɔwɔ ha a, mmɔ mmɔden sɛ wo nko ara bɛsoa no. Boa no ma ɔnkɔ ɔyaresafoɔ, adwene ho ɔyaresafoɔ, anaa ahokyere telefon ahama so, na ka ne ho bere a ɔreyɛ. Wo-ho-adidi-adi ɛtɔ da a ɛkyerɛ sɛ wo ne obi nantew kɔ mmoa pono a wonnya ano kwan a ɔn'ankasa rentumi mmue.

Adeɛ no nyinaa ba aseɛ ketewa sen sɛnea wosuro na ɛkɛse sen sɛnea wobɛsusu. Hyɛ no nsow. Ka biribi a emu da hɔ na ɛyɛ ayamyɛ. Na san ba daa bere a obiara akɔ n'anim. ɛno ara ni. ɛno ne adwuma no.

Mmeaeɛ a wonyaa nsɛm yi firii

Ansa na wobɛkɔ, kasɛm tiawa bi fa ɔhwɛ ho

KEEP CALM de adesua nnwinnadeɛ a wode boa wo ho a wontua hwee ma. Eyi nyɛ ayaresa afotuo, yare ho nhwehwɛmu, anaa adwene ho ayaresa, na ɛnnsi ɔbenfoɔ hwɛ ananmu. Sɛ biribi wɔ ha a ɛkyerɛ sɛ ɛboro daa nhyɛso so a, sɛ wobɛfrɛ ɔbenfoɔ no yɛ anammɔntuo a emu yɛ den na nyansa wɔ mu.

If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, you are not alone. In the US, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 24/7), text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line), or call 911 in an emergency.