Afotusɛm ntiantia
- List the ordinary days you'd live again.
- Pick three or four things that truly count.
- Name what enough looks like, on purpose.
Abawpa su titiriw bi wɔ hɔ a ɛto nnipa wɔ baabi a wɔnhwɛ kwan. Wonya ade no awiei koraa. Adwumamu nkɔso, dibea, sika a ɛwɔ akontaabu mu, ofie a dan a na wopɛ daa wɔ mu. Dapɛn baako anaa abien no, ɛte sɛ wʼadu. Afei nkate no yɛ tia, abasobɔ no tu kɔ wʼanim komm, na wuhu sɛ woresan akɔ ade foforo ho, a ɛyɛ wo nwonwa kakra sɛ nea etwa to no ankura.
Saa adwennan no ho hia sɛ wobɛtena ho, efisɛ mpɛn pii ɛkyerɛ sɛ woretaa nkonimdi nkyerɛase a wʼankasa woampaw da.
Yɛn mu pii nya yɛn adwene a ɛfa "nkonimdi" ho te sɛnea yenya kasa mu sononeɛ. Efi awofo a wɔde gyinabea kari kasa wɔ ohia akyi. Efi amammere a ɛde nɔma to biribiara so. Efi adwumayɛni a wɔmaa no panyin kan, adamfo a ne nkwa hwɛ sɛ ɛnyɛ den wɔ ɛntanɛt so, ne wo ho su a wosusuw ho bere a na wodi mfe aduonu abien. Bere a woanyin a wubetumi abu emu bi ho akontaa no, scoreboard no ate sɛ honam ho mmara. Ɛtena hɔ daa. Ɛda hɔ pefee. Ɛnyɛ nea wɔbɛgye ho akyinnye.
Wobetumi agye ho akyinnye. Na nnipa a wɔyɛ yiye wɔ adwuma tenten mu, wɔn a wɔda so gyina hɔ na wɔda so yɛ wɔn ho mfe pii akyi no, taa ayɛ adwuma a enni anuonyam a ɛne sɛ wɔbɛsi nea agoru no yɛ gyinae ansa na wɔde wɔn nkwa adi.
Scoreboard a wɔafɛm
Bere a Boris Groysberg ne Robin Abrahams hwehwɛɛ sɛnea aben adwumayɛfo bu wɔn ankasa wɔn nkwa atɛn no, wɔtwaa nsonsonoe wɔ nsusudwam ahorow abien ntam. Nea ani huu no yɛ nsɛnkyerɛnne a ɛyɛ mmerɛw sɛ wɔbɛkan: dibea, akatua, anuonyam a ɛwɔ logo a ɛwɔ wo badge so, sukuu a wo mma kɔ. Nea ani nhu no yɛ nea ɛyɛ den sɛ wɔde begu spreadsheet so: anigye a ɛfa ɔhaw a ɛyɛ den a wadi ho, nnipa a wo ne wɔn yɛ adwuma, sɛ wʼani gye bere a wopue fie pon mu anaa.
Nea ani hu no wɔ tumi a ɛda adi. Wobetumi akenkan. Obiara te dibea ase. Obiara nhia sɛ ɔbɛkyerɛ akatua ase. Wobetumi de atoto nnipa ho wɔ sekan fa mu, na ɛno ankasa na ɛma ɛyɛ mmerɛw sɛ wɔfa na ɛsɛe komm. Scoreboard a wubetumi akenkan wɔ ani fa mu yɛ scoreboard a wɔayɛ ama nnipa foforo akenkan afa wo ho.
Eyinom mu biara nkyerɛ sɛ sika anaa dibea ho nhia. Ɛho hia. Nhwehwɛmu a ɛyɛ nokware a ɛfa sikanya ho yɛ anigye sen kasatɔmu a ɛse sika rentumi ntɔ ahotɔ. Wɔ nhwehwɛmu a wɔhwɛɛ no yiye a edii akyinnyegye a akyɛ wɔ baabi no, Matthew Killingsworth, Daniel Kahneman, ne Barbara Mellers huu sɛ nnipa pii fa hɔ no, da biara da anigye kɔ so foro bere a sikanya foro, a baabi a etwa to a egyae no nni hɔ pefee. Nanso ade bi ahintaw wɔ nea ɛyɛ daa no mu. Nnipa a wɔn ani nnye koraa no fa hɔ no, sika pii pii tɔ ɔdwo fi nneɛma a ɛyɛ nkwa den, na saa ɔdwo no kɔ baabi pintinn. Sɛ ɛtra hɔ a egyae nkanyan ade. Sɛ sika nko ne adekogyina a wode reto awerɛhow a emu duru bi so a, awiei koraa ɛgyae adwumayɛ.
Enti mfonini no nyɛ sɛ nkonimdi ho nhia. Ɛyɛ sɛ nkonimdi nkyerɛase baako a wɔafɛm, a wofi akyi bu emu ho akontaa no yɛ ade a emu ho nnim a wode wʼabrabɔ nyinaa bɛsɛn so.
Ka a wode tua bere a wonsiesie asɛm no da no wɔ hɔ, na ɛyɛ mmerɛw sɛ wobehwere efisɛ ɛyɛ ka a efi gyae mu. Sɛ wonni wʼankasa wo nkyerɛase a, wobɛkɔ nea ɛwɔ wʼaduamu so, na saa adekogyina no wɔ nyiyimu. Ɛtwe kɔ nea ɛyɛ nea wubehu, nea wobetumi de atoto, ne nea ɛyɛ ahɔho nwonwa no ho. Ɛyɛ nneɛma a ɛnyɛ mfonini yiye komm: ofie a edwo, adwinni a woayɛ no yiye, adamfofa a woakora so mfe aduasa, ehu a enni hɔ Memeneda anadwo. Wobetumi adi nkonim wɔ ɔfaa biara a ani hu mu na woahwere wʼabrabɔ afa a obiara na ɔkari ho atɛn no brɛoo. Nnipa a woduru mfe bi a wɔn ho hyɛ awerɛhow ma no ntaa nnu dibea ketewa ho. Wɔdu mfe a wɔde yɛɛ adwuma maa nsusudwam a wɔampaw da no ho.
Nea enti a goalposts no kɔ so tu
Ntease bi wɔ hɔ a ɛma saa nkonimdi a wodii ho aperepere no yɛ tia ntɛm so, na ɛnyɛ mfomso wɔ wo mu.
Nnipa sesa wɔn ho. Biribiara a wode wo ho hyɛ mu no bɛyɛ nea ɛyɛ daa wɔ ntɛm so a ɛyɛ nwonwa, a eye bere a nkwa yɛ den (wosesa wo ho, woko, wonya wo ho bio) na ɛyɛ basaa bere a nkwa yɛ papa (akatua foroakatua bɛyɛ nea egyina, adwuma a wopɛ bɛyɛ Benada). Adwennimfo frɛ eyi adaptation. Wɔ kasa a ɛda hɔ pefee mu, fam no foro hyia baabi a wugyina, enti hwɛ a wode hwɛ fi soro hɔ no gyae sɛ ɛyɛ nkonimdi na efi ase yɛ baabi a ɛba sɛ wode wo bɔ.
Atotoho hwie ngo gu eyi so. Yɛmmu yɛn nkwa atɛn wɔ baabi a hwee nni hɔ. Yɛbu wɔ nnipa a wɔatwa yɛn ho ahyia ho, na ɛntanɛt no de nnipa pii a wɔayɛ adwuma yiye a wonni awiei ma yɛn seesei. Nhwehwɛmufo a wɔhwehwɛ atotoho ho hu sɛ bere a wode wo ho toto obi a wuhu sɛ wadi wʼanim ho, na woate ase sɛ atemmu a ɛfa wʼankasa wo bo a ɛsom bo ho a, ɛtaa ma wote nka sɛ enye, ɛnyɛ nkuranhyɛ. Wonkura. Anammɔn baako a aka wʼakyi. Saa atotoho koro no betumi ahyɛ wo nkuran ɛtɔ da, nanso ɛyɛ bere a wote ase sɛ ɛyɛ adansedi sɛ ade no betumi ayɛ ama wo nso, ɛnyɛ adansedi sɛ wuredi nkogu.
Fa adaptation ne atotoho bom a, wobenya treadmill a ɛkame ayɛ sɛ obiara wɔ so. Woduru abasobɔ no, wosesa wo ho ma, wohwɛ ɔfaa hwɛ obi a wadi wʼanim kakra, na abasobɔ no tu. Wubetumi atu saa mmirika no mfe aduanan na wonte da sɛ wadu, efisɛ awiei no anyɛ baabi a egyina da. Na ɛyɛ "kakra a ɛboro nea ɛwɔ hɔ seesei" daa.
Ɔkwan a wode befi treadmill no so nyɛ sɛ wubegyae nneɛma a wopɛ. Ɛyɛ sɛ wobɛpaw, denam adwene mu, nneɛma a wopɛ ankasa.
Wʼankasa wo nkyerɛase a wobɛkyerɛw
Eyi ne fa a ɛte sɛ ɛyɛ brɛoo nanso ɛyɛ ade a ɛho hia paa wɔ asɛm no mu. Nkonimdi nkyerɛase a wubetumi abɔ din ankasa no yɛ adwuma ankasa. Ɛkyerɛ wo hokwan a wobɛpene so. Ɛkyerɛ wo bere a woayɛ nea ɛdɔɔso na wubetumi agyae. Ɛma wo gyina pintinn bere a obi foforo nkonimdi pɛ sɛ ɛtu wo fi gyinabea, efisɛ wubetumi de atoto wʼankasa wo nhwɛso so mmom sen dan no mu.
Ɔkwan a wode bɛyɛ baako ni. Ɛfa awia fa, ɛnyɛ akatena.
- Hwɛ wo nna pa, ɛnyɛ wo nkonimdi. Susuw afe a etwa to no ho na hwehwɛ nna a ɛyɛ daa kakra a wʼani begye sɛ wobɛtena bio. Ɛnyɛ nsɛnkyerɛnne akɛse. Nna a ɛyɛ daa a na ɛyɛ pɛ. Kyerɛw nea na woreyɛ, nnipa a wo ne wɔn wɔ hɔ, nea na dɔnhwerew no kura ankasa. Su pue ntɛm, na mpɛn pii ɛnyɛ nneɛma a ɛwɔ wo résumé so.
- Bɔ nea woreyɛ no yiye din, wɔ wʼankasa wo nsɛm mu. Sɔ wie saa asɛm yi nokware mu: "Nkwa pa, ma me, wɔ ____ pii mu na ____ ketewa wɔ mu." Ebia ɛyɛ adwumadenyɛ pii na agoru ketewa. Bere pii a wo ne wo mma bɛbom bere a wɔda so pɛ wo. Nneɛma yɛ pii, dwumadi ho ahwɛyiye ketewa. Ma ɛnyɛ pintinn a wubetumi adi so dwuma.
- Kyekyɛ wo nsusudwam mu sɛ nea woapaw ne nea wɔafɛm. Yɛ columns abien. Fa baako so, nneɛma a anka wobɛpɛ ɛven sɛ obiara nhu. Fa foforo so, nneɛma a wopɛ esiane onipa a obu wo nti. Ka nokware den wɔ column a anuonyam nneɛma no kɔ mu ho. Ɛnsɛ sɛ wopo. Ɛyɛ sɛ wubehu sɛ ɛwɔ hɔ.
- Paw nneɛma kakraa a ɛho hia. Abiɛsa anaa anan, ɛnyɛ dunum. Nkyerɛase a biribiara ka ho no nkari hwee. Eyinom ne nneɛma a wode bɛsɔ wo gyinaesi ahwɛ ankasa.
- Si nea "ɛdɔɔso" yɛ no ho gyinae. Eyi ne nea kame ayɛ sɛ obiara fa kwan, na ɛno ne nea ɛyi wo fi treadmill no so. Wɔ ɔfaa baako a ɛho hia mu no, bɔ nɔma anaa tebea bi din a anka ɛdɔɔso ankasa, sɛnea sɛ wotwa mu a, ɛma wode wʼahoɔden kɔ baabi foforo mmom sen sɛ wobɛsan ama abasobɔ no aforo bio.
Saa anammɔn a etwa to no fata sɛ wode wʼani si so kakra, efisɛ "ɛdɔɔso" yɛ asɛmfua a nnipa a wɔwɔ akɔnnɔ pii no nya ɔhaw sɛ wɔbɛka pefee. Ebetumi ate sɛ wode reto fam, anaa sɛ akɔnnɔ nni hɔ. Ɛnyɛ wɔn mu biako. Sɛ wobɔ "ɛdɔɔso" din a ɛma akɔnnɔ a enni awiei dan botaeɛ a wawie, na botaeɛ a wawie nko ne nea wubetumi adu ho ankasa. Sɛ ɛnni hɔ a, nkonimdi biara dan ɔkwan foforo a wode fi ase, na wonte ade a na woreyɛ adwuma de pɛ no da. Ɛnsɛ sɛ wobɔ "ɛdɔɔso" din ma biribiara. Paw ɔfaa baako anaa abien a wususuw sɛ wobɛkɔ so foro afebɔɔ sɛ obiara ansiw wo kwan a, na twa hɔ adwene so. Hɔ no betumi atu akyiri. Ma ɛnyɛ gyinae mmom sen sɛ ɛbɛyɛ basaa.
Ɛnyɛ sɛ wo botaeɛ ne manifesto a edi mu. Botaeɛ ne biribi a ɛyɛ nokware a wubetumi de adi dwuma, a wɔakyerɛw no pefee a anka wubehu wo ho mu afe biako akyi.
Bere a wudi nnipa foforo anim
Sɛ obi hwɛ wo (kuw, adwumakuw, anaa abofra a ɔhwɛ sɛnea wode Memeneda di) a, wo nkonimdi nkyerɛase no bɛyɛ wɔn dea a wɔde bepɛn so komm. Nnipa kenkan nea wode tua ka yiye sen nea woka. Sɛ woyi nkonimdi a ani hu nko ayɛ ayeyi a, wokyerɛkyerɛ obiara a watwa wo ho ahyia sɛ ɔntaa scoreboard a wɔafɛm, koro no ara a egyaw wo amene mu. Hwɛ nneɛma a ɛyɛ komm a ɛho hia ankasa, adwuma a wɔayɛ no yiye, ahodwow a ɛba bere a ɛyɛ den bi twa mu, onipa a ɔmaa kuw no yɛɛ papa a wammu ho atɛn, na woma nnipa hokwan sɛ wɔbɛkyerɛ agoru no su a emu da hɔ pii ase.
Akannifo a wɔn nan si fam yiye no nyɛ wɔn a wɔn nɔma yɛ den. Ɛyɛ wɔn a wonim nea wɔwɔ hɔ ma no pefee, a ɛma wogyae akansi wɔ ɔfaa biara prɛko so. Saa emu a ɛda hɔ pefee no fa onipa wɔ ɔkwan a eye sen biara so. Ɛma nnipa a wɔatwa wɔn ho ahyia no hokwan sɛ wɔnyɛ saa ara.
Nokwasɛm kakra a ɛyɛ nokware
Sɛ wobɛsan akyerɛ nkonimdi ase no ma wo ho di. Wubetumi nso de adi dwuma bɔne, enti kɔkɔbɔ abien.
Nea edi kan, mfa "kyerɛ nkonimdi ase wɔ mʼankasa mʼakwan so" nyɛ din pa a wode ma sɛ woregyae ade bi a ɛyɛ den ansa na ɛreyɛ papa ho. Nsonsonoe ankasa wɔ sɛ wubegyae botaeɛ a na ɛnyɛ wo dea koraa ne sɛ wubegyae nea ɛyɛɛ den kɛkɛ no ntam. Sɔhwɛ no ne nokwasɛm a ɛfa wʼanammɔntu ho, na ɛyɛ den sɛ wo nko bɛyɛ. Adamfo a wugye no di, ɔkwankyerɛfo, anaa coach pa betumi aboa wo ma woahu abien no mu nsonsonoe.
Nea ɛto so abien, ɛsɛ sɛ wo nkyerɛase no nya hokwan sɛ ɛbɛsesa. Su a wokyerɛw bere a wodi mfe aduasa anum no, ɛnsɛ sɛ ɛkyekyere onipa a wobɛyɛ bere a wodi aduonum no. Fa no sɛ kratasɛm a ɛte ase, a wosan hwɛ no mu bere ne bere mu, ɛnyɛ ntam a wɔayɛ no ɔboɔ so.
Na sɛ asɛm a ɛwɔ eyi nyinaa ase no nyɛ "sɛnea mɛkyerɛ nkonimdi ase" ankasa na mmom biribi a emu yɛ duru (ɔdwoɔ a ɛrentu, nkate sɛ hwee ho nhia, nkate sɛ woadi nkogu wɔ nkwa a ɛnyɛɛ koraa mu) a, ɛno fata sɛ wode kɔ obi a ɔyɛ eyi ho adwumayɛni nkyɛn. Ɔdwennimfo betumi aboa bere a ɔhaw no nfa botaeɛ ho na ɛfa bo a ɛ low anaa ahodwiriw a ɛresesa biribiara ho. Ɛno nyɛ akwan a wode fi adwuma yi mu. Ɛtɔ da a ɛno na ɛma adwuma yi yɛ yiye.
Ka a wode tua eyi nyinaa ho no yɛ den sɛ wobɛka mu kɛse. Bere a wunim, wɔ wʼankasa wo nsɛm mu, nea worebɔ mmɔden, animka a ɛfa wo ho a wode toto wo ho ne obiara so no yɛ tia. Wo da so pɛ nneɛma. Wo da so yɛ adwuma den. Ɛyɛ sɛ wugyae obi foforo mmirika no tu, na wofi ase tu baako a anka wʼani begye sɛ woadi mu nkonim.
Mfiri
- Harvard Business Review, What Does Success Mean to You?
- Harvard Business Review, Make Your Career a Success by Your Own Measure
- National Center for Biotechnology Information, Income and emotional well-being: A conflict resolved (Killingsworth, Kahneman & Mellers, 2023)
- George Mason University, Center for the Advancement of Well-Being, Social Comparison Processes and Well-Being