Afotusɛm ntiantia
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Ebia din bi rekɔ wʼadwene mu kɔ aba seesei. Adamfo a wofi adwuma a wogyaee mu. Wo nua a anka mo bɛn ansa na asetena twee mo kɔɔ akwan horow so. Obi a anka wobɛfrɛ no adamfo ankasa, gye sɛ monkasae mfe abien, na seesei kommyɛ no ankasa te sɛ akwanside.
Woadwen sɛ wode wo nsa bɛkɔ wɔn so. Ebia woabue nkrasɛm no mpo, woahwɛ nea mo mu biara kaa awiei koraa, na woasan ato mu. Bere a ɛtena hɔ no, ɛyɛ duru. Nnaawɔtwe baako kommyɛ nyɛ hwee. Mfe abien te sɛ ɔfasu.
Nea ɛsɛ sɛ wuhu ansa na woasan abu wo ho gyina ho asɛm bio no ni: saa ɔfasu no, wʼadwene mu pii na ɛwɔ. Nhwehwɛmu a ɛfa eyi ho da hɔ pefee a ɛnyɛ tema, na ɛkyerɛ baabi koro bere nyinaa. Nnipa a mo ntam hyew no ani gye yɛn nka ho kɛse sen sɛnea yɛhwɛ kwan. Yɛn na yɛkɔ so siw yɛn ankasa kwan.
Yɛn ho popo sɛ yɛde yɛn nsa bɛkɔ adamfo so te sɛ ɔhɔho
Eyi te sɛ mmoroso. Ɛnte saa. Nhwehwɛmu a wɔyɛɛ wɔ 2024 wɔ *Communications Psychology* mu a Lara Aknin ne Gillian Sandstrom yɛe no hui sɛ na nnipa nni ahopere sɛ wɔde wɔn nsa bɛkɔ adamfo dada bi so sen sɛ wɔ ne ɔhɔho koraa bɛhyɛ nkɔmmɔ ase. Twentwɛn koro no ara. Anammɔn a ɛtwentwɛn koro no ara. Mpo bere a nnipa a wɔde yɛɛ adwuma no kaa sɛ wɔpɛ sɛ wɔsan bɛbɔ, na wɔgye dii sɛ adamfo no ani begye sɛ ɔbɛte wɔn nka mpo no, nea wɔde nkra kɔeɛ ankasa nnu wɔn nyinaa mu nkyem abiɛsa mu baako.
Ma eyi nkɔ wo komam kakra. Nnipa nim sɛ onipa baako no begye atom. Wɔda so ara anyɛ.
Nea ɛyɛɛ nsonsonoe no bae wɔ asɛmfua baako mu: ahokyere (familiarity). Sɛnea adamfo dada bi yɛɛ sɛ onnim wo dodo no, saa na na nnipa nni ahopere sɛ wɔde wɔn nsa bɛkɔ ne so. Bere yɛ biribi a ɛyɛ komm na ɛnteɛ wɔ ha. Ɛnyi adamfofa no ntwe, nanso ɛtetew bɛnnebɛn a ɛyɛ mmerɛw no ano, kosi sɛ obi a kan no woka biribiara kyerɛɛ no nkra a wode bɛkɔ ne so te sɛ wofrɛ din a ɛwɔ list bi so a wunnim no. Adamfofa no da so wɔ hɔ. Ɔkwan a wode kɔ so no nko ara na ɛte sɛ ɛho aboro nkannare.
Adɛn nti na ntam no te sɛ ɛsõ sen sɛnea ɛteɛ
Nneɛma kakraa bi boaboa ano wɔ saa kommyɛ no mu, na ɛboa sɛ wuhu no sɛnea ɛteɛ.
Nea edi kan no yɛ mfomso ketewa a yɛtumi susuw ho a yɛyɛ bere a yɛsusuw nnipa foforo nkate ho. Bere a wususuw saa nkra no a wode bɛkɔ no ho a, wʼani da wʼankasa wo basaayɛ no so kɛse, aniwu no, dadwen sɛ ɛbɛkenkan sɛ ade a wonsusuw ho anaa ahiade. Nea wuntumi nte fi mu no ne anigye gyegyeegye a ɛwɔ ɔfa baako no. Nhwehwɛmuyɛfo a wɔhwehwɛ saa nsa-de-kɔ ahodwiriw yi mu no ahu sɛ yɛsusuw fa dodow a wɔn ani gye ho no, no koraa, ɛfa sɛ yɛn werɛ fi sɛnea ɛyɛ fɛ sɛ obi bɛkae wo. Ahodwiriw no na ɛyɛ akyɛde no pii, na nea ɔde nkra no kɔ no nko ara ne onipa a ɔrentumi nte nka.
Nea ɛto so abien no yɛ asɛm a yɛka de kyerɛ kommyɛ no ase. Sɛ wɔpɛ sɛ wɔkasa a, anka wɔakyerɛw me. Wɔde wɔn ho akɔ baabi pefee. Anka mɛhyɛ wɔn aniani kɛkɛ. Eyinom te sɛ nokwasɛm. Ɛyɛ nsusuwii, na mpɛn pii ɛyɛ nea ayamye nni mu, efisɛ ɛkame ayɛ sɛ onipa no nso resusuw saa asɛm koro no ara fa wo ho. Nnipa baanu betumi agyina kommyɛ bi nkyɛnkyɛn mienu, na obiara resi gyinae komm sɛ onipa baako no ho nhia no, bere a nokware no ne sɛ wɔn baanu nyinaa retwɛn kwan kɛkɛ.
Nea ɛto so abiɛsa no yɛ ahosiesie teta a wɔahyehyɛ no sɛ ɛwɔ ntease. Nnipa nya adagyaw. Mmofra, adwuma, atutene, yare, asetena mu ade a ɛkɔ so daa. Ntam a ahyew pii nyɛ atemmu. Ɛyɛ akwantwemu kɛkɛ. Na nkra baako pɛ betumi adane akwantwemu no, a ɛyɛ ade ketewa koraa sen adesoa a yɛde ahyɛ ho no.
Hyehyɛ wo ho ansa na woafi ase wɔ awɔw mu
Aknin ne Sandstrom nhwehwɛmu no ankyerɛ ɔhaw no ase nko ara. Ehui biribi a ɛboaeɛ, na ɛfata sɛ wofa.
Bere a nhwehwɛmuyɛfo no maa nnipa de nkra tiawa kɔɔ adamfo a wɔwɔ no seesei so kan, obi a ɛyɛ mmerɛw, obi a wɔne no kasa bere nyinaa, ansa na wɔrebisa wɔn sɛ wɔnkɔ adamfo dada no so no, dodow a wodii so no foroo fi bɛyɛ nkyem abiɛsa mu baako kɔɔ nkyem mmienu mu baako boroso. Ahosiesie a ɛyɛ mmerɛw. Kasa kyerɛ obi a banbɔ wɔ ho, ma wʼamannɔ ho adwene no nkɔ, na nsa-de-kɔ a ɛyɛ den no nyɛ sɛ nea woretu fi abodan so.
Wubetumi ayɛ eyi wʼankasa wɔ bɛyɛ sima anum mu. Ansa na wode nkra bɛkɔ onipa a woreguan no afiri so no, kyerɛw obi a ɛyɛ wo mmerɛw. Obiara. Wo nua, adwumayɔnko, adamfo a wobɛfrɛ no a wonnwen ho. Ɛho nhia sɛ ɛyɛ mu. Botae no ne sɛ wobɛkaakae wo nipadua nkanmu sɛ kasa a wo ne nnipa kasa yɛ ade a ɛyɛ teta a wode wo nkwa fa mu a woyɛ no bere nyinaa. Afei, bere a wʼamannɔ da so ara wɔ hɔ no, bue nkrasɛm a ɛyɛ den no.
Eyi yɛ kwan ankasa, ɛnyɛ kuruwa kasa kɛkɛ. Twentwɛn no fa yɛ awɔw-mfiase ho ɔhaw, enti mfi ase wɔ awɔw mu.
Nea wobɛka ankasa
Nkrasɛm adaka a hwee nni mu no na nsa-de-kɔ pii wu. Nnipa susuw sɛ sandi yɛ ade kɛse a ɛho hia akyiri-akyiri kasamu a ɛbu kommyɛ no ho akontaa, na saa adwuma kɛse a wɔasusuw ho no ankasa na ɛma adaka no da hɔ kwa.
Ɛnte saa. Ɛsõ a ɛyɛ tiawa no ye. Nea ɛyɛ ɔdɔ no ye. Nea ɛyɛ adwuma no na ne sɛso ni:
- Bɔ wɔn din, kɛkɛ. Wɔn din ankasa. "Hei Dana" yɛ ade kɛse sen sɛnea wususuw. Ɛkyerɛ sɛ eyi nyɛ nkra a wɔde maa nnipa pii.
- Ka nea ɛmaa wodwenee wɔn ho. Nea enti ma nkra no gyina hɔ na ɛyi nhyɛso no. "Mefaa yɛn dabea dedaw no ho nnɛ." "Saa dwom yi bae na mekaee wo." "Na mereka twa a yɛkɔ wuram no ho asɛm kyerɛ obi." Sɛnea ɛyɛ ketewa na ɛyɛ pɔtee no, saa na ɛkenkan sɛ ɛyɛ nokware.
- Ka ntam no ho nokware, brɛoo. Kasa baako, akɔneaba biara nni mu. "Mintumi nnye nni sɛ aware saa" anaa "Mepa wo kyɛw sɛ meyɛɛ komm." Wonni nkyerɛkyerɛmu a ɛyɛ ma, na sɛ woma bi a, ɛtaa ma nneɛma yɛ duru sen sɛnea ɛsɛ.
- Gyaw ɔpon bue, ɛnyɛ ɔhyɛ. "Nhyɛso biara nni hɔ sɛ wobua ntɛm, mepɛ sɛ meka 'hei' kɛkɛ" anaa "Mɛpɛ paa sɛ yɛsan di nkitaho bere bi sɛ wopɛ a." Nsato a wobetumi afa mu wɔ wɔn ankasa bere so ye sen abisade a ɛte sɛ sɔhwɛ.
Sɛ wode boa ano a, ɛyɛ kasamu abiɛsa anaa anan. Biribi te sɛ: *"Hei Marcus. Metee yɛn dwom no wɔ radio so na ɛmaa mihui sɛ aka akyi ahe. Mepa wo kyɛw sɛ meyeraeɛ. Nhyɛso biara nni hɔ koraa, mepɛ ankasa sɛ meka kyerɛ wo sɛ mefe wo na anka mepɛ sɛ wo ho yɛ wo."*
Ɛno ne ne nyinaa. Ɛho nhia sɛ woyɛ nyansafo. Ɛho hia sɛ woyɛ ayamye na ɛyɛ tiawa, na afei wode nkra no kɔ ansa na nsiesie no afi ase. Nsiesie no na nkrasɛm pa kɔ kowu.
Bere a kommyɛ no wɔ adesoa
Nkitaho biara a ahyew nyɛ akwantwemu a hwee nni mu, na sɛ yɛyɛ yɛn ho sɛ ɛyɛ saa a, ɛyɛ nkontompo.
Ɛtɔ da bi a akwantwemu no fi ntawntaw bi mu, ɔyaw a wɔanka da, nsɛm a ɛtɔɔ fam bɔne na wɔansiesie da. Sɛ ɛno na woda so kura a, "hei ɔhɔho" a ɛyɛ frɛnyam betumi ayɛ atorɔ ama mo baanu nyinaa. Wuda so betumi de wo nsa akɔ wɔn so. Yɛ nokware kakra na yɛ no brɛoo kakra. Gye asɛm ankasa no tom a wonsan nni ho akyinnye bio: "Madwen sɛnea yegyaw nneɛma no ho, na anka mepɛ sɛ yɛkasa sɛ woabue wʼakoma a." Afei ma wɔnto ankorɔ no. Nsa-de-kɔ yɛ ɔma, ɛnyɛ akɔneaba a wopɛ no ho bɔhyɛ.
Na ɛtɔ da bi a mmuae a ɛfata ne sɛ wonnyae nkitaho no koraa. Sɛ abusuabɔ no pira wo, sɛ sansan ho bɛkyerɛ sɛ wubebue ɔpon a wotoo mu maa wʼankasa wo banbɔ anaa wʼasomdwoe a, wowɔ ho kwan sɛ wugyaw mu sɛ wɔatoɔ. Sɛ wugyaw mu a, ɛtɔ da bi yɛ ɔdɔ a akwahosan wom kɛse a abusuabɔ bi betumi abisa wo. Eyinom mu biara nyɛ mmara a ɛka sɛ ɛsɛ sɛ wonyan ntam dada biara. Botae no ne nkitaho a ɛyɛ ma wo, ɛnyɛ kyerɛwtohɔ a ani da hɔ.
Sɛ wɔanbua sɛnea na wʼani da so a
Eyi ne ehu a ɛhyɛ ehu no ase, enti momma yɛnka no pefee. Wode nkra no kɔ, na wɔnsan nkyerɛw. Anaa wɔde ɔdɔ kyerɛw na biribiara amfi mu amma. Ɛba.
Nneɛma kakraa bi a wobɛkura mu sɛ ɛba saa. Mmuaeɛ a ɛyɛ brɛoo taa kyerɛ asetena a adwuma ahyɛ mu ma, ɛnyɛ apoɔ. Nnipa hwere nkrasɛm, wɔpɛ sɛ wobua, na wɔn werɛ fi. Asɛm a ɛyɛ tiawa, brɛoo a wobɛto so bio nnaawɔtwe baako anaa abien akyiri yi yɛ pɛpɛɛpɛ, na ɛtaa yɛ nea ɛtɔ fam. Na mpo wɔ tebea a ɛyɛ tan koraa mu, baabi a obi mpɛ sɛ ɔsan ka ankasa no, wonhweree biribiara a na wowɔ nnera. Na mo ntam ahyew dada. Nkra no ammɔ wo adamfofa no ka. Adamfofa no na na ɛsõ dada.
Nea wonya bere a wode kɔ, sɛ mmuae no yɛ kommyɛ mpo a, ne ahomegye a ɛyɛ komm a efi sɛ woabɔ mmɔden ahwɛ. Saa kontomporɔ a ɛda hɔ wɔ wo koko mu no to mu. Wugyae adesoa ketewa, da biara de a ɛfa ade a wokae sɛ wobɛyɛ no daa no soa.
Adɛn nti na eyinom mu biara fata sɛ woyɛ no a basaayɛ no wɔ mu
Ɛyɛ mmerɛw sɛ yɛde eyinom nyinaa to ade-a-anka-ɛyɛ-papa ase, ahobammɔ a wode bɛyɛ akyiri yi. Adansedie no kyerɛ sɛ ɛnte saa. Nkitaho nyɛ ade a wode aka asetena a akwahosan wom so. Ɛyɛ fapem no fa.
Wɔ 2022 mu no, CDC hui sɛ na ɛkame ayɛ sɛ Amerika mpanyin no nkyem abiɛsa mu baako kaa sɛ wɔte nka sɛ wɔn nko ara, na bɛyɛ nkyem anan mu baako kaa sɛ asetena ne nkate mu mmoa a na wɔhia no nni hɔ ma wɔn. Eyinom nyɛ nkate a ɛnyɛ dɛ kɛkɛ. Ankonam a ɛkɔ so daa no ne nea ɛyɛ bɔne ma akoma, adwene, ne mfe dodow a nnipa tena ase no bata. Wɔbɔɔ yɛn sɛ yebehia yɛn ho yɛn ho, na nkitaho a ɛsɛe nkakrankakra no de adesoa ankasa ba, mpo bere a nkra baako pɛ a yɛyera no nte sɛ ɛho hia.
Ɔfa a ɛyɛ anigye ne sɛ siesie no yɛ ketewa na ɛbɛn. Ɛho nhia sɛ wosan kyekye nnipa wiase mu nyinaa. Wode wo nsa kɔ onipa baako so. Afei, ebia, wode nkae to wo calendar so sɛnea nkitaho a edi hɔ no renngyina akokoduru a ɛbɛpue so. Bɛnnebɛn a yɛsan kyekye no hwehwɛ abotare kakra, na ɛno yɛ teta. Adamfofa a wugyaw maa ho hyewee no anyɛ anadwo baako mu, na ɛrensan mma anim anwummere baako mu nso. Nanso ɛbɛyɛ hyew ntɛm sen sɛnea wususuw, efisɛ abakɔsɛm no da so wɔ ase.
Baabi wɔ hɔ a obi a wo ho hia no ebia ɔredwen wo ho nso, na ogye di sɛ woakɔ wʼanim. Wonkɔɔ wʼanim. Worekenkan eyi. Nkra a wode renkɔ no betumi ayɛ ade a ɛyɛ pa wɔ wɔn nnaawɔtwe no mu. Wo nko ara na wubetumi ahu.
Ade baako bio, brɛoo. Sɛ deɛ enti a woate wo ho afi obiara ho ne sɛ woreperepere kɛse, sɛ wiase yɛ duru na nnipa te sɛ ade pii nnansa yi a, ɛfata sɛ wofa no aniberesoɔ na ɛnyɛ wo nko ara na wode di dwuma. Dɔkota anaa yaresafo betumi aboa, na obi a wugye no di a onim wo dada no nso betumi. Sɛ wosan de wo nsa kɔ nkitaho ho no yɛ akokoduru sɛ nsa a edi kan a wukura no yɛ adamfo dada anaa odwumayɛni a wabɔ ne ho ho dawuru. Ne nyinaa fra.
Nea efi
- Communications Psychology (Nature), People are surprisingly hesitant to reach out to old friends
- National Center for Biotechnology Information (PMC), People are surprisingly hesitant to reach out to old friends (full text)
- American Psychological Association, Making new friends and keeping existing ones is hard. Here's some science-backed tips to help
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (MMWR), Loneliness, Lack of Social and Emotional Support, and Mental Health Issues: United States, 2022