Afotusɛm ntiantia
- Watch if they turn toward small moments.
- Say a small no and notice their response.
- Check whether your shoulders drop around them.
Afotu dodow a ɛfa ɔdɔ foforɔ ho yɛ kɔkɔbɔ nhwehwɛmu. Hwɛ wo ho yiye wɔ ɔdɔ a wode hyɛ ma dodo ho. Hwɛ wo ho yiye wɔ obi a ɔrenkyerɛ nneɛma ase ho. Guan sɛ ɔne adidipon so somfo kasa basabasa a. Yeinom nyinaa wɔ mfaso, na yɛkyerɛ saa ampa. Nanso ahokyere bi wɔ mu. Sɛ wusua nea asiane te sɛ nko ara a, wubetumi abu obi atɛn wɔ kar so, na w'ani agye sɛ obi nyɛ otirimɔdenfo na woafrɛ saa abusuabɔ pa. Sɛ ahopopo nni hɔ no nyɛ pɛ sɛ biribi pa wɔ hɔ.
Enti ma yɛnnan ani. Nsɛnkyerɛnne a ɛba mfiase a ɛkyerɛ sɛ obi yɛ obi a wode wo ho bɛto ne so akɔ so abɛn no no ne dɛn? Ɛnyɛ ɔpɛ. Ɛnyɛ wo kra dɔfo dapɛn a ɛto so abiɛsa. Obi a ne suban, mpɛn pii, kyerɛ abusuabɔ a etumi soa adesoa ampa.
Wɔtaa frɛ yeinom frankaa ahaban, na ɛtaa yɛ komm sen frankaa kɔkɔɔ no. Frankaa kɔkɔɔ kyerɛ wo. Frankaa ahaban deɛ ɛkaakaa wo, efisɛ ɛyɛ obi a ɔtena ase pɛ na ɔyɛ ayamye wɔ ɔkwan a ɛma wo mmati gow ase.
Adɛn nti na nsɛnkyerɛnne pa no yɛ den sɛ wobehu
Siane bi nti na frankaa kɔkɔɔ kyere yɛn na frankaa ahaban tra yɛn. Wɔayɛ w'amen sɛ wubehu asiane. Nne a wɔama so, bɔhyɛ a wabu so, animtiaabu a ɛbɔ tsuw, yeinom sɔ wo nipadua mmoano nhyehyɛe, efisɛ baabi wɔ yɛn abakɔsɛm mu no, sɛ wuhu wɔn a, na ɛyɛ asiane. Tim a obi tim no nsɔ saa hu no. Ɛyɛ ne nea ɛne no bɔ abira. Ɛma no dwo. Na nneɛma a ɛma yɛn dwo no yɛ mmerɛw sɛ yebebu no ade hunu.
Siane foforɔ ne sɛ yɛn mu pii suae sɛ yɛde den ne abusuabɔ bɛyɛ pɛ. Sɛ abusuabɔ a ɛyɛ foforɔ yɛɛ dinn a, na ɛhaw yɛn sɛ ebia ɛkyerɛ sɛ yɛnte nka pii. Enti yɛbɛhwehwɛ deɛ ɛyɛ den no, nea ɛkɔ soro ne fam no, na yɛakenkan basabasa no sɛ ɔdɔ. Dwoodwoo tumi yɛ deɛ ɛyɛ atotɔ bere a wo gyinabea yɛ basabasa. Ɛnyɛ atotɔ. Ɛyɛ fam a abusuabɔ ankasa gyina so.
Fa a emu dɔ kɛse wɔ eyi nso ho. Nea ɛyɛ yɛn ade kann wɔ ɔdɔ mu no taa yɛ nea yenyinii wɔ ho. Sɛ baabɛn a wunim no wɔ wo nkwa mfiase no yɛ nea wuntumi nhu kan a, ɛnde wuntumi nhu kan no tumi te sɛ fie, na tim tumi yɛ deɛ ɛyɛ tɔtɔɔtɔ anaa deɛ wuntumi nnye nni mpo. Yeinom mu biara nyɛ suban mu sintɔ. Ɛkyerɛ kɛkɛ sɛ ebia nsɛnkyerɛnne a wode reyɛ adwuma no nteɛ kakra, na sɛ ade a ɛyɛ dwoodwoo na ɛyɛ ayamye a ɛwɔ w'anim no betumi ayɛ pɛɛ mpo bere a ɛnsɔ ogya dada a wode aniagye nhu no.
Sɛ woadi mfe pii rehwehwɛ ade bɔne a ɛto so foforɔ a, sɛ wubesua sɛ wubehu nneɛma pa no yɛ adwuma soronko. Ɛfata sɛ wokyekyere.
Daa frankaa ahaban no
Nea nnipa fom ne sɛ: nsɛnkyerɛnne a ɛho hia kɛse no nyɛ akɛse. Ɛnyɛ mpenatwe a ɛyɛ fɛ anaa ɔkasa kɛse a ɛfa sɛnea wo ne obiara nyɛ pɛ ho. Nea wode wo ho to so no yɛ nketenkete na wɔyɛ mpɛn pii. Kakra a ɛfata sɛ wohwɛ mfiase nie.
Wɔyɛ onipa koro wɔ nna ahorow mu
Hwɛ tim. Ɔkwan a wɔfa so ne wo di da pa mu no te sɛ ɔkwan a wɔfa so ne wo di bere a wɔabrɛ, adwennwen ahyɛ wɔn so, na ɛyɛ da teta mu. Wɔn ho yɛ hyew Dwoada na wɔn ho da so yɛ hyew Yawda. Wonsiesie wo ho hwɛ ɔfa bɛn na aba. Saa nea wubetumi ahu kan no nyɛ atotɔ. Ɛyɛ nea ahotoso ankasa fi. Amerika Adwene ho Nimdefoɔ Fekuw ne nimdefoɔ a wɔne awarefo yɛ adwuma no san ba nhwɛmu tiawa koro no ara so bere a wɔrekyerɛkyerɛ abusuabɔ a akwahosan wɔ mu mu, na ahotoso da mfinimfini.
Wɔdan ba wo nkyɛn wɔ bere nketewa mu
Eyi, nhwehwɛmu a emu yɛ den a ɛwɔ saa fam yi mu bi taa so. Mfe pii, adwene ho nimdefo John Gottman hwɛɛ awarefo ampa wɔ ne nhwehwɛmu dan mu na ɔdii biribi a ɔfrɛ no abisade akyi, mmɔden ketewa a wɔbɔ sɛ wɔde wɔn ho bɛbam. Asɛm a wɔka fa anomaa a ɛwɔ mfɛnsere akyi ho. Sini a ɛyɛ serew a wɔde teɛ mu wɔ asɛsɛdwa no so. Komm bi "hwɛ, hwɛ eyi." Biribiara nyɛ kɛse. Onipa a ɔde ɔkwan ketewa so reyɛ ne ho akyerɛ ɔfoforɔ no ara kwa.
Nea ɔhuiɛ ne sɛ wubetumi ahu abusuabɔ daakye bɛyɛ pɛ denam sɛnea onipa biara dan ba saa abisade no nkyɛn sen sɛ ɔbɛtwam ho. Wɔ ne nhwehwɛmu mu no, awarefo a na wɔda so ka bom mfe pii akyi no nya adan abedu wɔn ho wɔn ho abisade nketewa no nkyɛn bɛyɛ ɔha mu 86. Awarefo a wɔtetewee mu no na wɔreyɛ saa bɛyɛ nkyem abiɛsa mu baako bere. Nsonsonoe a ɛda nkurɔfo mmienu no ntam no nyɛ akasakasa akɛse no. Ɛyɛ bere komm ɔha da koro a obi de ne ho bam na ɔfoforɔ no anaa ohuu anaa wanhu.
Enti wɔ mpenatwe mfiase mu no, fa w'adwene si nneɛma nketewa so. Sɛ biribi ma w'ani gye a, wɔdan ba? Sɛ woka ade a ɛhaw wo ho a, wɔkae bisa akyiri yi? Obi a ɔdan ba wo nkyɛn wɔ bere a ɛnyɛ den mu no rekyerɛ wo nea ɔbɛyɛ wɔ bere a ɛyɛ den mu.
Wo nkwa yɛ kɛse, ɛnyɛ ketewa
Nsɛnkyerɛnne pa a ɛba mfiase ne sɛ wo nkwa da so wɔ wo nsam. Wuhu wo nnamfo. Wokora wo daa nneyɛe, w'anigyede, wo ho afaafa a ɛmfa wɔn ho hwee so. Ɔdɔfo a akwahosan wɔ ne mu no ani gye saa ho. N'ani gye wo nkurɔfo ho. Wɔmmoaboro bere a wode wɔn nyɛ nhyehyɛe a wɔnka ho anaa wɔmfa komm ne nneɛma a wo dɔ no ɛnsi akan. Mmoa te sɛ New York State akwankyerɛ a ɛfa abusuabɔ a akwahosan wɔ mu ho no de mu duru kann gu eyi so: ahokafo bu wɔn ho wɔn ho fawohodi na wobetumi asisi wɔn ankasa gyinae a ehu nni mu. Sɛ abusuabɔ foforɔ retetew wo wiase kakra so daa sen sɛ ɛretrɛw mu a, ɛfata sɛ wohu, mpo bere a wɔahyehyɛ no sɛ ɔdɔ.
Akyinnyegye nte sɛ asiane
Awarefo biara mpene biribiara so, na akasakasa a enni hɔ mfiase no nyɛ frankaa ahaban, ɛkyerɛ kɛkɛ sɛ monnduruu biribiara a ɛyɛ kann so. Frankaa a ɛfata sɛ wohwɛ ne nea ɛba bere a edi kan a moyɛ saa no. Wubetumi aka sɛ "ɛno pira me" na wɔate ampa sen sɛ wɔbɛyɛ wɔn ho banbɔ anaa wɔayɛ nwini? Sɛ apaepae ketewa bi ba a wosiesie, na obi de nokware ka sɛ "woka asɛm, mepa kyɛw," sen sɛ wogyae ma ɛporɔw? Banbɔ a ɛwɔ abusuabɔ mu no nyɛ ntwirie a enni hɔ. Ɛyɛ sɛ wuhu sɛ bere a ntwirie ba a, mo baanu behu mo kwan asan aba.
Wɔma kwan ma wo ankasa
Hwɛ sɛ wubetumi adi nokware. Wubetumi aka sɛ woabrɛ, anaa wompɛ sɛ wopue anadwo yi, anaa biribi a wɔkaeɛ no anyɛ wo dɛ, a wonhwɛ wɔn nkabom so? Wubetumi ama wɔahu wo ho a ɛnyɛ fɛɛfɛ na woahwɛ sɛ wɔtena hɔ? Ɔdɔ foforɔ taa nantew agorɔ so, mo baanu nyinaa wɔ suban a eye sen biara mu. Frankaa ahaban no ne bere a agorɔ no betumi agow ase kakra na nkabom no da so kura.
Mmɔdenbɔ no fa afanu nyinaa
Mfiase no, ɛyɛ mmerɛw sɛ wobɛyɛ nea ɔreyɛ adwuma no, ɔrehyehyɛ mpenatwe, ɔrefi nkrasɛm ho, ɔde nkɔmmɔdie no rekɔ, na woafrɛ saa ɔdɔfo pa. Hwɛ mmom sɛ wobehyia wo anaa. Wɔhyehyɛ nneɛma nso, anaa wo na wokyerɛ kwan nyinaa? Sɛ wode wo ho ka a, wɔde ɔdɔ a ɛte saa ara san ba, anaa daa wote nka sɛ woadi anim anammɔn fa, na w'ani da so? Cleveland Clinic, bere a ɛkyerɛ nsɛnkyerɛnne a abusuabɔ a akwahosan wɔ mu no, kɔ so san ba abɔso a wɔn baanu de wɔn ho hyɛ mu so: nnipa baanu nyinaa de abusuabɔ no di kan, baanu nyinaa de wɔn ho hyɛ mu. Abusuabɔ a obi taa na ɔfoforɔ ma kwan no nkari pɛ, mpo bere a nea ɔma kwan no yɛ ɔbofo. Ɛnsɛ sɛ wode wo ho kyerɛ obi nya anigye wɔ wo ho. Wɔ abusuabɔ pa mu no, ɔpɛ no fa afanu nyinaa na wubetumi ate nka.
"Daabi" mma ɔhaw
Eyi ka biribiara ho asɛm kakra. Ka daabi kyerɛ ade ketewa bi mfiase, nsã a ɛto so abien, anadwo da, dapɛn a wɔadi kan akyɛ no, na hwɛ nea ɛba. Onipa a ɔyɛ ma wo no gye daabi no a ɔnko ho ko. Ahofono nni hɔ, anwini nni hɔ, mmɔden a ɛkɔ so a wɔbɔ sɛ wɔbɛma woabrɛ nni hɔ. Abusuabɔ a akwahosan wɔ mu no bu pene sɛ ade a wɔde ama a wɔkɔ so hwɛ, ɛnyɛ akwanside a wotwa ho pɛnkoro. New York State akwankyerɛ no bɔ pene din sɛ abusuabɔ a akwahosan wɔ mu no nnyinaso baako, ɛne ahotoso ne nkitahodi gyina pɛ, na ɛno nko ara nyɛ ɔhonam mu nhwɛ. Ɛfa ahoɔhare, bere, sika, sɛnea nneɛma kɔ ntɛm so. Obi a obu ɔhye ketewa wɔ seesei no kyerɛ wo sɛ ɔbɛbu kɛse akyiri yi. Obi a ɔde wo daabi yɛ ɔhaw a ɛsɛ sɛ wɔsa no nso reka biribi akyerɛ wo.
Yafunu nhwɛsoɔ a ɛyɛ adwuma ampa
Sɛ nhwehwɛmu no ka bom a, nsɔhwɛ a ɛyɛ mmerɛw nie. Hwɛ sɛnea wote nka wɔ wo ankasa wo nipadua mu wɔ saa onipa yi ho wɔ dapɛn kakra mu.
Wɔ obi a ɔyɛ ma wo ho no, wo nipadua mmoano nhyehyɛe taa tɔ. Woda yiye. Wonyɛ wɔn nkra no foforɔ a kuru wɔ wo yafunu mu. Wote nka sɛ woyɛ wo ho ankasa, ɛnyɛ kakra. Wo ho dwo wo wɔ wo nkwa nkae no mu, ɛnyɛ basabasa. Saa atenka a atɔ no yɛ adanse ankasa. Wo nipadua kura kɔntaabu a ɛfa sɛ wowɔ banbɔ ansa na w'adwene anya nsɛm a ɛka.
Nea ɛne no bɔ abira no nso fata sɛ wode di dwuma. Sɛ dapɛn kakra akyi no, w'adwene nsɛe sen sɛ wo ho dwo wo, wonantew nkesua so, woyɛ wo ho ketewa sɛnea asomdwoe bɛtena hɔ a, ɛno ho hia mpo sɛ wuntumi nkyerɛ ade bɔne kann biako a wɔyɛeɛ. Abusuabɔ a ɛfata wo no, ɛsɛ sɛ ɛyɛ ahomegye sen biara, ɛnyɛ nsɔhwɛ a daa wobɛtumi adi nkogu.
Kɔkɔbɔ a ɛfata baako. Sɛ wo ne dadwene te a, wo mmoano nhyehyɛe tumi yɛ mfomso, ɛkenkan dwoodwoo sɛ atotɔ anaa ɛkyerɛ nnipa a wɔyɛ banbɔ sɛ asiane. Na sɛ wɔapira wo pɛn a, abɛnne teta tumi yɛ hu efisɛ wonim ho. Enti nipadua nhwɛsoɔ no yɛ nsɛnkyerɛnne, ɛnyɛ atemmu. Fa di dwuma ka nea wuhu sɛ onipa no yɛ ho, wɔ bere mu.
Sɔ wɔn mu pɛɛɛ, nanso hwɛ wɔn
Nokwasɛm bi a ɛfa eyinom nyinaa ho. Frankaa ahaban a ɛba mfiase no yɛ nsɛnkyerɛnne pa, ɛnyɛ bɔhyɛ. Nnipa betumi ayɛ wɔn ho koro asram abien na wɔasesa. Animdɛ tumi yɛ sɛ ayamye kakra. Enti fa eyinom sɛ adanse a wɔama kwan ma akɔ so aboaboa ano, ɛnyɛ atemmu a wode si pi wɔ mpenatwe da a ɛto so anan so. Wɔde bere kyekyere ahotoso ankasa nkakrankakra, denam onipa nneyɛe a wohwɛ wɔ tebea ahorow pii mu kosi sɛ wubegye adi sɛ ɛno ne onipa no.
Na frankaa ahaban ntwa frankaa kɔkɔɔ ho. Sɛ biribi bɔ wo hu ankasa, sɛ ɔhyɛsoɔ, animtiaabu, nhyɛsoɔ, anaa nhwɛsoɔ bi wɔ hɔ a ɛma wote nka sɛ wonni banbɔ a, dɛdɛ dodow a ɛwɔ baabi foforɔ no mma ɛnyɛ pɛ. Wonnka obiara ɛka sɛ wode wo ankasa wo banbɔ bɛtɔ so.
Sɛ wuhu sɛ wuntumi nnye nsɛnkyerɛnne pa no nni da, sɛ dwoodwoo daa kenkan sɛ adwemmɔne anaa abɛnne biara ma woguan a, ɛno nyɛ wo mu sintɔ, na ɛnyɛ ade a ɛsɛ sɛ wo nko ara woworɔw. Ayaresafo pa betumi aboa wo ama woasua sɛnea wobɛte nka sɛ wowɔ banbɔ wɔ nnipa a wɔwɔ banbɔ ho, eyi yɛ den sen sɛnea ɛte na ɛyɛ yiye koraa. Na sɛ worebɔ mmɔden sɛ wobɛhu nsonsonoe a ɛda abusuabɔ a ɛyɛ den kɛkɛ ne deɛ ɛrepira wo ntam a, yɛsrɛ wo ka kyerɛ obi a wode wo ho to no so anaa ɔbenfo a obetumi ne wo ahwɛ. Wofata sɛ wo ne obi a ɔma wo nkwa yɛ kɛse na ɔma wo mmati yɛ hare. Sɛ wonim sɛnea ɛno te no, ɛno na ɛma wofi ase paw.
Nsɛm a Wɔde Bae
- Cleveland Clinic, 12 Signs You're in a Healthy Relationship
- The Gottman Institute, Turning Toward Bids Creates Better Relationships
- New York State, What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?