Afotusɛm ntiantia
- Never miss twice: one off day is fine, two starts a pattern.
- Talk to yourself like a friend who slipped, not a critic.
- Restart with one tiny step today, not a big plan Monday.
Na wopɛ sɛ wokɔ mmirikatu. Woankɔ. Afei da koraa bɛyɛɛ nnansa, na baabi wɔ mu hɔ no, nnidisoɔ a na wode hoahoa wo ho no de komm sɛee. Afei nne a wonim no no aba bio. Nea ɛka sɛ woasɛe biribiara, daa na woyɛ saa, enti adɛn nti na wobɛyɛ ho hwee.
Saa nne no ne ɔhaw no ankasa. Ɛnyɛ mmirikatu a wopaa mu no. Mmirikatu a wopaa mu no anyɛ hwee.
Obiara hwe ase. Asetena yɛ den, woyare, wotu kwan, biribi a ɛyɛ den tɔ wo so na suban foforɔ no na ɛdi kan kɔ. Ɛnyɛ mfomsoɔ a ɛwɔ wo mu. Saa na nsuban yɛ wɔ nhyɛsoɔ ase. Nnipa a wɔkora wɔn nsuban so kyɛ no nnyɛ wɔn a wɔmpa mu da. Wɔyɛ wɔn a sɛ wɔpa mu a, wɔsan ba ntɛm.
Asehwe no nyɛ nea ɛma womem
Afiri komm bi wɔ hɔ a ɛkyere yɛn mu dodoɔ no ara. Wobubu nnidisoɔ, wote nka sɛ woadi nkogu dada, na wodwen sɛ "ɛnneɛ, maseɛ no afei," enti wogyae ade no nyinaa kakra. Da baako a wopa mu bɛyɛ dapɛn a wopa mu. Bisikiti baako bɛyɛ adaka no nyinaa. Asehwe no ankasa yɛ ketewa. Asɛm a wokaa faa ho no na ɛsɛee adeɛ.
James Clear, a ɔkyerɛw fa nsuban ho no, ka no pefee: sɛ wopa mu pɛnkoro a, ɛyɛ asiane; sɛ wopa mu mpɛn mmienu a, ɛyɛ suban foforɔ ahyɛaseɛ. Mfomsoɔ a edi kan no nsɛe biribiara ntaa. Mfomsoɔ a ɛtoa so wɔ akyiri no, ne ne kɔ akyiri no na ɛsɛe adeɛ. Enti nimdeɛ ankasa no nyɛ sɛ wobɛyɛ pɛ. Ɛyɛ sɛ wobɛkyere wo ho wɔ akyire pa mu baako no akyi na woamma anyɛ mmienu.
Mmara a ɛnyɛ den boa wɔ ha: mpa mu mpɛn mmienu da. Pa da baako mu, ɛyɛ. Mma da a ɛdi soɔ no nni hɔ. Ɛnsɛ sɛ woyɛ pɛ. Nea ɛsɛ sɛ woyɛ ara ne sɛ wompene so sɛ da baako a wopaa mu no bɛdane wo suban foforɔ a wonnnim ho hwee.
Yɛ ayamyɛ ma wo ho boro sɛnea wote nka sɛ ɛfata
Nea ɛba wo tirim asehwe akyi ne sɛ wobɛyɛ den wɔ wo ho so. Bɔ wo ho mpire, te afɔdie nka, fa aniwuo no yɛ wo mmɔden. Ɛte sɛ asɛyɛdeɛ. Mpɛn pii no, ɛsɛe ade.
Nhwehwɛmufoɔ ahwɛ saa adeɛ yi pɛɛ. Nhwehwɛmuo baako mu a wɔde nnipa a na wɔreyɛ adwuma wɔ mu adunmu so dodo tee de no, wɔn a wɔde ayamyɛ a wɔde ma wɔn ho gyee asehwe so na ɛnyɛ ahokyere no, wɔkaa sɛ wonyaa ahotosoɔ pii sɛ wɔbɛtumi akɔ so, botaeɛ a emu yɛ den sɛ wɔbɛtoa so, ne nkateɛ a ɛmu nyɛ den fa asehwe no ho. Nea ɛmaa nsonsonoeɛ baeɛ ne afɔdie kakraa bi. Bere a afɔdie no tɔɔ no, botaeɛ no san baeɛ.
Eyi ne sɛnea ahuhuyam yɛ adwuma no hyia. Ɔnhwehwɛmufoɔ Kristin Neff kyerɛkyerɛ mu sɛ aban mmiɛnsa a ɛnyɛ den: sɛ wobɛyɛ ayamyɛ ama wo ho na ɛnyɛ den, sɛ wobɛkae sɛ obiara ko, na ɛnyɛ wo nko ara na woasɛe, ne sɛ wobɛhunu nkate a ɛyɛ den no a wonnyɛ nsuom mu. Ɛte sɛ deɛ ɛyɛ mmrɛw. Nanso ankasa ɛyɛ ɛkwan a etu mpɔn sɛ wobɛsan akanea bio, ɛfiri sɛ aniwuo ma wopɛ sɛ wode wo ho hinta, na wuntumi nsan nhyɛ suban ase wɔ ahintaeɛ mu.
Sɔ hwɛ sɛ wo ne wo ho kasa sɛnea wo ne adamfo pa a wahwe ase bɛkasa. Wonnka nkyerɛ adamfo sɛ ɔnni anidasoɔ. Wobɛka akyerɛ no sɛ ɛyɛ, ɛba saa, momma yɛnsan mfa nkyɛn ɔkyena. Wofata saa nne korɔ no ara.
Ɛkwan a ɛnyɛ den a wobɛfa so asan aba
Sɛ woasiesie wo ho sɛ wobɛsan ahyɛ ase a, ma ɛnyɛ mmerɛ kakra a ɛyɛ serɛ. Botaeɛ no ne sɛ wobɛbubu mmusuo no, na ɛnyɛ sɛ wobɛtua bere a ahweree no ka.
- Yɛ anammɔn a ɛdi soɔ no ketewaa ara kosi sɛ ɛbɛyɛ ketewa. Ɛnyɛ apɔmuden adwuma a ɛyɛ ma, na mmom hyɛ wo mpaboa na nantew kɔ twea so. Ɛnyɛ adidie da a ɛyɛ pɛ, na mmom anɔpa aduane pa baako. Anammɔn a ɛsua a wuntumi nka wo ho ho mfiri mu.
- Yɛ no nnɛ, na ɛnyɛ Dwoada. Ahyɛaseɛ foforɔ a wotwɛn no ma asehwe no tena hɔ kyɛ. Bere a ɛdi soɔ no ne dɔnhwerew a ɛdi soɔ no, na ɛnyɛ dapɛn a ɛdi soɔ no.
- Mmɔ mmɔden sɛ wobɛ"tua" bere a apa mu. Wuntumi nnya nna a wopaa mu no bio denam wo ho a wobɛtwe aso atua mmienu seesei no so. Ɛno yɛ suban no te sɛ ka. Fa baabi a wowɔ na kɔ wʼanim.
- Hunu nea ɛmaa wohwe ase, brɛoo. Ɛnyɛ sɛ wobɛbɔ wo ho soboɔ, na mmom sɛ wobɛyɛ nhyehyɛeɛ. So na wabrɛ dodo, woyɛ adwuma dodo, anaa wʼadwene ware dodo? Suban no nhyehyɛeɛ a ɛsua na ɛma kwan no yɛ mmerɛ sɛ wode bɛkɔ so bere a asetena san yɛ den.
Ade no nyinaa botaeɛ ne sɛ wobɛnya nkonimdie a ɛnyɛ den baako. Ahoɔden mfiri ahyɛaseɛ kɛseɛ mu mma. Ɛfiri adeyɛ ketewa baako a ɛka kyerɛ wo sɛ woda so wɔ mu yi mu mma.
Bere a asehwe no yɛ biribi a ɛso fa bi
Ɛtɔ da bi a "mekɔ so hwe ase" yɛ biribi a ɛhyɛ ase ho ankasa. Sɛ wabrɛ dodo araa sɛ wuntumi nkora nhyehyɛeɛ biara so, anaasɛ nyinaa-anaa-hwee adwene no rekɔ sɛnea wohu wo ho sɛ onipa, anaasɛ asehwe biara de wo kɔ ahodwirie ankasa mu a, ɛsɛ sɛ wofa no aniberesoɔ mu na ɛboro suban ho afotuo so.
Ɔyaresafoɔ anaa ɔdwene ho yɛfoɔ bɛtumi aboa wo ahu sɛ nea ɛsɛe wo kwan no yɛ asetena a adwuma wɔ mu kɛkɛ, anaasɛ biribi te sɛ awerɛhoɔ, ahoɔden a asa, anaa adwenemhaw a ɛfata ne ankasa hwɛ. Sɛ wobɛfrɛ ho mmoa no nkyerɛ sɛ woadi nkogu wɔ ahodenpɛ mu. Ɛyɛ adwene pa, na ɛyɛ ayamyɛ adwuma nso.
Nanso ɛmma nnɛ deɛ, wonhia nhyehyɛeɛ foforɔ koraa. Nea ehia ara ne sɛ wompa mu mpɛn mmienu. Hyɛ mpaboa no. Di anɔpa aduane pa no. Yɛ anammɔn ketewa baako a ɛkyerɛ wo sɛ asehwe no yɛ asehwe, na ɛnyɛ awieeɛ. Woda so wɔ ha, na ɛno nko ara na ɛhia sɛ wobɛhyɛ ase bio.
Mmeae a wonyaa nimdeɛ firii
- British Journal of Health Psychology (via PMC), Does self-compassion help to deal with dietary lapses among overweight and obese adults who pursue weight-loss goals?
- James Clear, Avoid the Second Mistake
- Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion, What Is Self-Compassion?