Sɛnea Wobɛhu Abusuabɔ a Ɛho Yɛ Bɔne

Hwɛ sɛnea wote nka bere tiaa bi. Ɛnyɛ akakabensɛm akɛse anaa bere a emu da hɔ no ho, na mmom dwene a ɛkɔ so daa wɔ w'akoma mu bere a wowɔ saa onipa yi ho no. Wobɔ ahodwiriw ansa na ɔrebɛhyɛn ɔpon no mu ana? Wodwene nea wobɛka ho ansa na waka sɛnea ɛbɛkɔ yiye ana? Wuhu sɛ woresiesie nneɛma, repa kyɛw wɔ nneɛma a ɛnyɛ wo de ho, na woani da hɔ sɛ nnɛ bɛyɛ da pa ana?

Saa ahohia a ɛba brɛoo na ɛkɔ so daa no fata sɛ wode hwɛ yiye. Abusuabɔ betumi ayɛ den a nso ɛho nyɛ bɔne. Nnipa nnya adwene koro, wɔbrɛ, wopira wɔn ho wɔn ho na wosiesie. Nea yɛreka ho asɛm wɔ ha no yɛ soronko. Ɛyɛ nneyɛe a ɛkɔ so, ɛnyɛ dapɛn bɔne, baabi a onipa baako ahotɔ gyina wo de a ɛkɔ so so.

Ebia worekenkan eyi efisɛ adamfo bi kaa biribi. Anaasɛ efisɛ woafi ase rekora bere ahorow a wuntumi nkyerɛ mu yiye ho nhyehyɛe ketewa bi wɔ w'adwene mu. Sɛnea ɛte biara no, ɛnsɛ sɛ wonya kwan ansa na woafa no aniberesɛm. Momma yɛnhwɛ nea nneyɛe ahorow no yɛ ankasa, sɛnea wubetumi abɔ nea wote mu no din.

Nsonsonoe a ɛda abusuabɔ a ɛyɛ den ne nea ɛhaw ntam

Abusuabɔ a ɛbɛn biara wɔ ntawntaw bi. Asɛmmisa no nyɛ sɛ moko anaa. Ɛyɛ nea ɛsisi twa ako no ho hyia, ne sɛnea wote nka wɔ bere tenten a ɛda ntam no mu.

Wɔ abusuabɔ a ɛyɛ apɔwmuden mu no, ntawntaw taa ba awiei. Wubetumi ada biribi a ɛhaw wo adi na wɔatie wo. Siesie wɔ hɔ wɔ mpaapaemu akyi. Wote nka sɛ woresan ayɛ wo ho daa, ɛnyɛ kakra. Nhwehwɛmufo ne ayaresafo a wɔne awarefo yɛ adwuma no kyerɛ nsɛnkyerɛnne tiawa bi a ɛkyerɛ ɔkwan a ɛyɛ apɔwmuden no: obu, ahotoso, nokwaredi, gyinaesi a wɔbɔ mu yɛ, ne ahofadi a wode nnya adwene foforo a ɛnnan ɔko.

Nea ɛyɛ bɔne no kɔ ɔfa foforo. The National Domestic Violence Hotline kyerɛ saa nea ɛhaw no fa sɛ nneyɛe a onipa baako bɔ mmɔden sɛ obenya tumi ne nhyehyɛe wɔ ɔfoforo so na wakora so. Saa nhyehyɛe no betumi ayɛ den anaa komm. Ebetumi ayɛ sɛ ɔhwɛ wo so ne mmara ahorow, anaasɛ sɛ ɔdew wo ahotoso ase brɛoo kosi sɛ wubegyae wo ankasa w'adwene ho gyidi.

Eyi yɛ ɔkwan pa a wobɛfa so ahwɛ. Wɔ abusuabɔ pa mu no, wubetumi ayɛ mfomso a wɔntwe w'aso ho. Wɔ nea ɛyɛ bɔne mu no, wusua sɛnea wobɛhwɛ yiye paa.

Nneyɛe a ɛfata sɛ wofa no aniberesɛm

Ade baako pɛ a ɛwɔ nhyehyɛe bi so no nyɛ abusuabɔ bɔne. Nea ɛho hia ne nneyɛe no, mpɛn dodow a ɛsisi, ne ɔfa a ne nyinaa resen kɔ. Kenkan eyinom sɛ ade baako, ɛnyɛ nhwɛmu a wode begye wo ho afi mu.

• Worenante wɔ nkesua so. Wohwɛ wo nsɛm ne w'akoma so sɛnea asomdwoe bɛtena hɔ, na woabrɛ wɔ ɔkwan a ɛyɛ den sɛ wobɛkyerɛ mu so.
• Mfomso no si wo so bere nyinaa. Ɔkwan bi so no ɔhaw biara san kɔ biribi a woyɛe, wokae, anaa woantumi anyɛ so. Mpata sen kwan baako.
• Wɔretwa wo afi nkurɔfo ho. Bere a wo ne nnamfo anaa abusuafo bedi no bɛyɛ den. Nnipa a wɔdɔ wo no fi ase yɛ akyirikyiri, na saa kwan no amfi ase wɔ akwanhyia mu.
• Wɔkɔ so bisa nea wuhu sɛ ɛyɛ nokware no ho asɛm. Wokae biribi ɔkwan baako so na wɔn nso si so dua sɛ ɛsii ɔkwan foforo so, kosi sɛ ampa ara wonnnye w'ankasa wo nkae nni bio.
• Abusuabɔ no kɔ soro ne fam. Bere bi wɔ hɔ a abusuabɔ ne ayamye yɛ den, afei ahohia, afei akakabensɛm, afei mpata ne bɔhyɛ, na afei efi ase bio.
• Wote nka sɛ woayɛ ketewa. Wo werɛ ho yɛ den kɛse, wunnye wo ho nni sɛnea na ɛte, woayɛ ankonam sen sɛnea na ɛte afe baako a atwam.

Saa nea etwa to no ne nea ɛda adi komm no. Abusuabɔ a ɛyɛ bɔne taa ma onipa yɛ ketewa. Sɛ wuntumi nkae onipa ko a na woyɛ ansa na eyi reba a, ɛno yɛ amanneɛbɔ.

Nneyɛe abien a ɛyɛ mmerɛw sɛ wubehu

Saa nneyɛe yi bi fata sɛ wode bɔ din wɔ ne ho ankasa, efisɛ wɔahyehyɛ no sɛ ɛnyɛ mmerɛw sɛ wubehu fi mu.

Gaslighting (Adwene Sakra)

Gaslighting yɛ nnaadaa pɔtee bi a ɛma woannye nea wuhu no nni. The Cleveland Clinic kyerɛ mu sɛ ɛyɛ atirimɔden a ɛsɛe "w'ahoɔden a wode gye afoforo ne wo ho di." Ɛte sɛ "ɛno antware da," "wote nka dodo," "woreyɛ adwene wɔ wo tirim," a wɔka no mpɛn pii kosi sɛ wofi ase gye di. Ɔsɛe no nyɛ asɛm baako. Ɛyɛ sɛ, bere kɔ so a, wugyae w'atemmu a wode wo ho to so, na ɛno ara ne botae no. Sɛ woafi ase rekora nsɛm nketenkete sɛnea wobɛkyerɛ wo ho sɛ wo werɛ nhɔw a, fa no aniberesɛm. Wo werɛ nhɔw. Wode adansedi resie efisɛ wo fa bi nim dedaw.

Ɔdɔ a Etumi Boro So ne Ne Nkyirikyiri

Bere a emu yɛ pa kɛse no yɛ sɛnea saa nneyɛe yi nya wo so tumi. Mfiase no ebetumi ayɛ sɛ wɔafa wo akoma, ɔhwɛ a ɛboro so, akyɛde, abɔhyɛ, ne nkate sɛ saa onipa yi hia wo, na wo nkutoo. Akyiri yi, saa soro no san ba bere a fam no atwam pɛɛ, na ɛno na ɛma ade no nyinaa yɛ basaa. Nea ɛyɛ pa no yɛ nokware sɛnea ɛbɛma woakɔ so anya anidaso. Ayaresafo kyerɛ nkyirikyiri abiɛsa bi a wonim: ahohia kɔ soro, biribi bɔne sisi, na afei mpata ne asomdwoe ba ansa na efi ase bio. Sɛ woadwene da bi sɛ "nanso sɛ ɛyɛ pa a, ɛyɛ pa paa" a, ɛno nyɛ adanse sɛ abusuabɔ no nni asɛm. Ɛyɛ nneyɛe no fa a ɛma wokɔ so tena mu.

Wo hu a wode wo ho to so

Nneɛma a emu yɛ den wɔ abusuabɔ a ɛyɛ bɔne mu no baako ne sɛ ɛkyerɛ wo sɛ wonnnye saa ahonim a ɛrebɔ mmɔden sɛ ɛbɛbɔ wo ho ban no nni. Enti sɛ woadu ha na woahu wo ho mu a, fi ha: wɔama wo kwan sɛ nea wuhu no bɛkan.

Wonhia asɛm a edi mu, a wobɛfa akɔ asɛnnibea ansa na woate nea wote nka. Ɛnsɛ sɛ wotwɛn ma nneɛma yɛ bɔne ansa na woafata mmoa. "Ɛnyɛ bɔne saa" ne "afoforo de yɛ bɔne kyɛn" yɛ nsusuwii a ɛma nnipa pa pii ka hɔ mfe pii.

Nneɛma kakra a ɛyɛ brɛoo, a asiane nni mu a ebetumi aboa wo ma woahu ade yiye:

1. Kyerɛw nea ɛsisi, ne ne nna, wɔ baabi a ɛyɛ kokoam na ahobammɔ wɔ mu. Ɛyɛ mmerɛw sɛ wubehu nneyɛe wɔ krataa so sen nkae mu, titiriw bere a obi kɔ so ka kyerɛ wo sɛ wo nkae no nteɛ no.
2. Ka kyerɛ onipa baako a wugye no di. Ankonamyɛ ne dɔte a eyinom nyinaa nyin wɔ mu. Nkɔmmɔ a ɛyɛ nokware baako pɛ a wo ne adamfo, abusuani, anaa ɔbosamfo bedi no betumi asakra nea wubetumi ahu.
3. Hwɛ sɛnea wo nipadua gye wɔn so dapɛn a ɛyɛ daa nyinaa. Suro, ahomegye bere a wofi hɔ, pɔ a ɛsan bere a wɔafi hɔ. Mpɛn pii no wo nipadua hu nokware no ansa na w'adwene ma woka.
4. Ka kyerɛ obi a wɔatete no wɔ eyi mu. Ɛnsɛ sɛ wode din to biribi so anaa wusi gyinae biara ansa na woafrɛ. Botae a ɛwɔ sɛ woyi wo nsa kyerɛ ne sɛ wo ne obi a ahobammɔ wɔ ne ho besusuw ho, wɔ wo ankasa wo bere mu.

Ade baako a wobɛsɔ mu yiye sɛ woresusuw nea wobɛyɛ a edi hɔ ho. Onipa a ɔhwɛ wo so a wobegyaw no anaa wode wo ho bɛkɔ no so betumi ayɛ bere a asiane wɔ mu kɛse, enti eyi nyɛ ade a wobɛhwehwɛ wo nkutoo anaa ntɛmntɛm. Ɔboafo a wɔatete no betumi aboa wo ma woasusuw wo tebea pɔtee no ho, a wo ahobammɔ ka ho, a ɔrenpia wo nkɔ gyinae baako so.

Bere a ɛsɛ sɛ wopɛ mmoa pii

Sɛ eyi fa bi maa wo yam tuu a, ɛno fata sɛ wode di ni sen sɛ wobɛkyerɛ ase ayi afi mu. Ɛnsɛ sɛ wugye di yiye sɛ ɛyɛ "bɔne" anaa "atirimɔden" ansa na woakasa kyerɛ obi. Ɔbosamfo betumi aboa wo ma woahu nea ɛrekɔ so ne nea wopɛ. Na sɛ ɔhwɛ, ahunahuna, anaa suro a ɛfa sɛnea ɔfoforo no bɛyɛ ho wɔ hɔ a, ofiehaw atirimɔden ho ɔboafo betumi aboa wo ma woasusuw w'akwan ne wo ahobammɔ ho, wɔ kokoam mu na wɔmmbu wo atɛn.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline yɛ kwa, ɛyɛ kokoam, na ɛwɔ hɔ bere nyinaa, wɔ ahomatrofo, nkrasɛm, anaa nkitahodi so. Sɛ woyi wo nsa a, ɛnnan wo hyɛ biribiara so. Ɛkyerɛ kɛkɛ sɛ wugyae sɛ wo nkutoo soa eyi nyinaa.

Wofata abusuabɔ a ɛma wo yɛ wo ho kɛse, ɛnyɛ ketewa. Sɛ wuhu nneyɛe no ne sɛnea wofi ase san hwehwɛ wo kwan kɔ hɔ.

Nsɛm a wonya fii

• Cleveland Clinic, Domestic Abuse: How To Spot Relationship Red Flags
• Cleveland Clinic, Gaslighting: Definition & How To Spot It
• The National Domestic Violence Hotline, Power and Control Wheel