Sɛ woahyɛ ahohia mu anaa woredwene sɛ wobɛpira wo ho a, ɛnyɛ wo nko ara. Wɔ US no, frɛ anaa mena 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 24/7), mena HOME kɔ 741741 (Crisis Text Line), anaa frɛ 911 wɔ amanehunu bere mu.
Afotusɛm ntiantia
- Write down a few moments to trust your read.
- State your plans, don't ask permission.
- Send one honest message to an old friend.
Ɛntaa mfi ntɔkwaw mu. Efi nneɛma nketenkete a ɛkame ayɛ sɛ ɔdɔ mu. Wɔpɛ sɛ wunhu saa adamfo no, saa bere yi pɛ. Wɔpɛ sɛ wohu sɛ woaba fie dwoodwoo, enti wobɛtumi akyerɛ wo baabi a wowɔ. Wɔyɛ komm bere a woyɛ nhyehyɛe a wummisa wɔn ansa, na saa komm no bɔ wo ka sen sɛnea nne a ɛkɔ soro bɛyɛ.
Bosome biara, wo wiase no yɛ ketewa kakra. Wofi ase bu wo nsusuwii ho akontaa wɔ wʼadwene mu ansa na woaka biribiara afi wʼanom. Na da bi wuhu sɛ wuntumi nkae bere a etwa to a wusii gyinae a ɛnyɛ den bi, nea wobɛhyɛ, obi a wobɛfrɛ no, sɛnea wode anwummere a wonni dwumadi bedi dwuma, a woammoa wo ho ansiesie wo ho amma wɔn nyiyii.
Sɛ eyinom mu biara ka wo a, ɛnyɛ wʼadwene mu na ɛrekɔ, na wonyɛ obi a wʼanim yɛ mmerɛw dodo nso. Nneyɛe a obi de hyɛ wo so no yɛ nokware, ɛwɔ ne su, na nneɛma wɔ hɔ a wubetumi ayɛ.
Nea ɔhyɛ no te ankasa
Ɔhyɛ no nyɛ bere bɔne biako pɛ ho asɛm. Ɛyɛ su a ɛkɔ so. Onipa baako kɔ so fa onipa foforo no abrabɔ steering wheel no na ɔmpɛ sɛ ɔde ma no bio.
Etumi pue wɔ akwan pii so, na mpɛn pii no ɛyɛ afrafra:
- Sɛ obi si gyinae a ɛnyɛ ne dea, nea wobɛhyɛ, nea wubehu, baabi a wobɛkɔ, sɛnea wode sika bedi dwuma.
- Sɛ ɔtwe wo fi nnipa foforo ho. Ɔbɔ bere a wo ne nnamfo ne abusuafo bɛbɔ no mu, ɔma nhyehyɛe yɛ den, ɔyɛ ne ho komm kosi sɛ ɔkwan a ɛnyɛ den koraa ne sɛ wobɛtena fie.
- Ɔwɛn. Ɔhwehwɛ wo fon mu, obisa baabi a wowɔ, ɔpɛ sɛ wubu wo da no ho akontaa kyerɛ no.
- Ɔkyerɛw nea esii no bio. Wode biribi a ɛhaw wo ba, na ɔkwan bi so wofiri hɔ a worepa kyɛw, a wunhu nea wokae mpo. (Adwennimfo frɛ eyi gaslighting.)
- Ahoɔyaw a wɔahyɛ no sɛ ɔdɔ. "Mehaw me ho wɔ wo ho kɛkɛ" bɛyɛ ade a enti wuntumi nyɛ nneɛma a ɛyɛ daa.
- Sika no di. Ɔdi sika no so na ama sɛ wobɛkɔ, anaasɛ wo ne no nyɛ adwene koro mpo, ayɛ den sɛ ebetumi aba.
Cleveland Clinic ka asɛm a ɛsɛ sɛ yɛkita mu wɔ ha: nneyɛe a obi de hyɛ wo so no pii fi onipa no ahopopo mu, ɛnyɛ nhyehyɛe bi a ɔyɛ sɛ ɔbɛhyɛ wo so. Ɛno nkyerɛ sɛ ɛyɛ. Ɛnyɛ wo dwumadi nso sɛ wobesiesie. Nanso etumi te akodi a wopɛ sɛ wode wo nsusuwii di so no ano, efisɛ mpɛn pii no wuntumi mfa adwene nkyerɛ obi sɛ ɔmfi ehu a ɔmmɔ din mu.
Ahye nyɛ ɔhyɛ koro
Eyi to nnipa pii hintidua, na mpɛn pii ɛyɛ boapa. Hokafo a ɔhyɛ wo so no bi bɛfrɛ ne hwehwɛ "ahye." Ɛnyɛ ade koro, na nsonsonoe no da hɔ pefee.
Ɔhye fa wo ho. Ɛkyerɛ nea wobɛyɛ ne nea worenyɛ, nea ɛyɛ wo dɛ, sɛnea wopɛ sɛ wɔne wo di. "Me ho ntɔ me sɛ yɛbɛkenkan yɛn ho yɛn ho nkrasɛm." "Mehia anwummere baako pɛ dapɛn biara a me ne mʼankasa nnamfo bɛbom."
Ɔhyɛ fa wɔn a wɔde wo di dwuma ho. Ɛkyerɛ wo nea wɔama wo ho kwan sɛ wobɛyɛ.
Kuw a wɔfrɛ no love is respect ka no pefee: ahye a ɛyɛ kɔ bɔ onipa ho ban na ebu no, bere a nea ɛnyɛ kɔ no bɔ mmɔden sɛ ɛbɛhyɛ obi foforo so anaa ɛhaw no. Baako ma wode wo ho di kakra. Nea aka no to pon mu.
Nea wubetumi asɔ ahwɛ
Sɛ woakenkan akɔ ha na wote nka sɛ wo ho tɔ wo wɔ wo hokafo nkyɛn, na woabrɛ kɛkɛ a, akwan ankasa wɔ hɔ a ɛboa. Emu biara nfa onipa foforo no sesa ho. Ɛfa sɛnea wubenya wo nan ahome bio ho.
Di kan bɔ din kyerɛ wo ho
Ansa na woaka asɛm akyerɛ obiara no, ma emu nna hɔ pefee wɔ wʼankasa wʼadwene mu wɔ nea ɛrekɔ so ankasa ho. Sɛ ɛboa a, kyerɛw bere bi a esii pɔtee. Su no a wobɛbɔ din ne ɔkwan a wode begyae wʼankasa wo nsusuwii ho akyinnyegye, a ɛno ankasa ne nea ɛsɛe bere a obi kɔ so kyerɛw asɛm no bio no.
Ka nea ɛyɛ wo dea, dwoodwoo na wɔ bere no mu
Ɛnsɛ sɛ woyɛ ɔkasa tenten. Ɔkwan a eye sen biara a wobɛfa so abɔ ɔhye no yɛ tiawa, wɔka no bere a ade no si bɛn, na ɛfa wo ho mmom sen wɔn mfomso. "Mede Yawoada anadwo bɛto hɔ ama mʼankasa mʼnnamfo." "Merenkyɛ me passwords." Hu sɛ eyinom mu biara nyɛ ɔyaw anaa ahyɛsɛm. Ɛyɛ nokwasɛm a ɛfa wo ho kɛkɛ.
Hwɛ kwan sɛ wɔbɛsɔre atia wo mpɛn kakra a edi kan no. Ɔhye a wɔnsɔ nhwɛ da no nyɛ ɔhye ankasa de. Sɛ wubegyina pintinn, ayamye mu na akyinnyegye tenten nni mu, na ɛno ne adesua no nyinaa.
Gyae sɛ wubebisa kwan ama wʼankasa wʼabrabɔ
Sɛ obi atete wo sɛ wode biribiara bɛfa ne so a, wubetumi agyae no komm. Ka nneɛma mmom sen sɛ wubebisa. "Merekohyia Sam adidi Memeneda" si soronko sen "So ɛbɛyɛ yiye sɛ ebia mɛkɔ akɔhwɛ Sam?" Wonyɛ nea ɔyɛ den. Wode kwan a ɛyɛ daa no resan agye.
Kura wo nkurɔfo mu
Akohintaw ne ɔhyɛ no afiri, enti ahokabom ne ano aduru. Mma adamfofa no nnyɛ komm. Kura nnipa baako anaa baanu wɔ wo abrabɔ mu a wonim wo yiye na wɔbɛka nokware akyerɛ wo. Sɛ woafi wɔn ho a, nokwasɛm nkrasɛm baako bue ɔpon no mu mmerɛw sen sɛnea wususuw.
Nhwɛ kwan sɛ wubedi nkonim wɔ akyinnyegye no mu
Ebia woruntumi nkyerɛ hokafo a ɔhyɛ wo so no adwene ma onhu no wʼɔkwan so, na sɛ wobɔ mmɔden a mpɛn pii ɛma nneɛma sɛe kɛse. Wubetumi asi gyinae wɔ sɛnea wubebua, nea wobɛyɛ ne nea worenyɛ ho, na wama no agyina hɔ a ɛnhia sɛ wɔpene so. Wɔn penee no nyɛ nea ɛkora wo so dwoodwoo da.
Bere a eyi so sen kwammɔ a ɛnyɛ den
Nhye a ɛho hia paa ni, na ɛsɛ sɛ yɛka ho nokware. Nsonsonoe wɔ hokafo a ne ho popo na ɔde ɔhyɛ kura no ne hokafo a ne ɔhyɛ adan biribi a ɛbɔ wo hu no ntam.
Bere a wɔde su no di dwuma de ma wo so tew, de twa wo fi nkurɔfo ho, de wɛn wo, de twe wo aso no, ɛno wɔ din. Wɔ UK no ɛyɛ amumɔyɛ a wɔfrɛ no coercive control, na NHS ka no sɛ ɛyɛ nneyɛe su a wɔde twe onipa fi nkurɔfo ho, di no atɛm, na ɔhyɛ ne da biara abrabɔ so. Din no ho hia efisɛ ɛka biribi nokware kyerɛ wo: eyi nyɛ nkitahodi haw a wubetumi de nkɔmmɔbɔ a eye asiesie.
Nsɛnkyerɛnne kakra a ɛkyerɛ sɛ bere adu sɛ wode mmoa a efi abɔnten ba, na ɛnyɛ sɛ wobɛbɔ mmɔden kɛse:
- Wusuro sɛnea wɔbɛyɛ wɔn ho sɛ woto ɔhye ketewa mpo a. love is respect bɔ eyi din pefee, sɛ wusuro sɛ wobɛda wʼahiade adi efisɛ wɔbɛfa abufuw so abua a, ɛno ankasa yɛ kɔkɔbɔ.
- Nneyɛe a obi de hyɛ wo so no ba a ahunahuna, ahoyaw, anaa honam fam biribi ka ho.
- Wote nka sɛ wuntumi mfi hɔ dwoodwoo, anaasɛ wonni wʼankasa wo sika ho kwan.
- Wafi ase ahwere wʼadwene wɔ nea ɛyɛ nokware ho, anaa nea woyɛ.
Sɛ wuhu eyinom a, yɛsrɛ wo, mmɔ mmɔden sɛ wobedi ho dwuma wo nko, na mfa nkyerɛ hokafo a ɔhyɛ wo so no sɛ worehwehwɛ ɔkwan a wobɛfa so afi adi ansa na woakasa akyerɛ obi a ɔde eyi yɛ adwuma. Ofiehaw ho ɔkamafo anaa ɔfutufo betumi aboa wo ama woadwen ho na woayɛ nhyehyɛe a ɛbɛkora wo so dwoodwoo. Eyinom mu biara nkyerɛ sɛ woadi nkogu wɔ ɔdɔ mu. Ɛkyerɛ sɛ wuhyiaa obi foforo nneyɛe, na wofata sɛ wonya mmoa wɔ ho.
Ɔhyɛ taa ma wugye di sɛ wo na woyɛ haw no. Ɛnyɛ wo. Sɛ wopɛ wʼankasa wʼnnamfo, wʼankasa wo nsusuwii, ne hokafo a obu wo dabi sɛ ɛyɛ nokware, ɛno nyɛ adebisa a ɛboro so. Ɛyɛ nea ɛsɛ sɛ ɛwɔ hɔ. Sɛ woarekenkan eyi koraa no kyerɛ sɛ wo mu fa bi anya ahu saa dedaw.
Mfiri
- Cleveland Clinic, How To Deal With a 'Control Freak'
- love is respect, What are my boundaries?
- love is respect, Relationship Spectrum
- NHS, Getting help for domestic violence and abuse